The latest change in policy is a reversal of a previous move to reclassify the drug from Class B to Class C.

"While cannabis has always been illegal, reclassifying it to a Class B drug reinforces our message to everyone that it is harmful and should not be taken," said Jacqui Smith, Home Secretary.

Whilst the Home Secretary acknowledged that cannabis use fell after reclassification, she affirmed her position that a tougher approach was needed.

"Fewer people are taking cannabis, but it is crucial that this trend continues," she said.

"I am extremely concerned about the use of stronger strains of cannabis, such as skunk, and the harm they can cause to mental health."

"This is the next step towards toughening up our enforcement response -- to ensure that repeat offenders know that we are serious about tackling the danger that the drug poses to individuals and, in turn, communities."

Users caught twice will face an £80 fine on each occasion -- a third infraction will lead to prosecution in a court of law and a possible jail term.

The maximum penalty for possession will be go up from two years in jail to five years, or an unlimited fine.

Those convicted of supplying the drug could serve up to 14 years in prison.

But the move is in direct opposition to advice given to the government by the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs, the body charged with offering expert advice to the Home Office.

The Home Office has instead followed the line taken by the Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) who favour a tougher approach to law enforcement on cannabis.

It is believed that some police officers were opposed to the downgrading of cannabis as minor convictions for possession often led them to receive intelligence that they may not have done otherwise.

"There is evidence of increasing harms to community safety associated with criminal behaviour around the cultivation, distribution and the use of cannabis," said Tim Hollis, Chief Constable of Humberside Police and ACPO's lead on drugs.

"While enforcement alone will not provide the total solution to a crime that is a global problem, this will act as a deterrent, along with better education about the impact of drugs."

Tommy Quick, DJ and promoter. and Manoucehr Bahmanzade, owner of Plymouth's Dance Academy, were targeted by a police operation that led to their incarceration under laws originally drafted to tackle crackhouses.

Their problems began when police raided the club on a busy Saturday night.

"The crowd cheered at first," recalled Tommy.

"I guess because they thought the DJ had cocked up."

"Then there was this massive stampede and a swarm of police in yellow coats and full riot gear arrived -- with helmets and shields, everything."

"They came in both sides of the club and basically surrounded the dance floor."

"Then they herded everyone like sheep into a circle in the middle."

"And that's when it started to kick off a bit."

Clubbers in posession of drugs were invited to put them into amnesty boxes so that no further action would be taken against them.

Eight dealers in total were arrested that night -- but so were Quick and Bahmanzade.

After two years, the two were tried and convicted of allowing drug dealing and consumption on the club premises.

Quick received a five-year sentence, while Bahmanzade was given a nine-year jail sentence -- far harsher than the punishments meted out to the dealers arrested on the same night.

Neither had ever been implicated in the sale of a single pill -- in fact, several dealers had been reported to the police by the Dance Academy and the owner had even offered to pay for policemen to stand outside the venue.

Matters weren't helped by the fact that the judge and prosecution were clearly out of touch with the realities of clubbing in the modern age.

"At some points in court it got comical," said Carl Eve, crime reporter for the Plymouth Herald.

"[The judge] kind of half-laughed and said ‘You could have changed the music to Strictly Come Dancing or maybe line dancing -– something that isn't associated with drugs to attract a different crowd.'"

"That was kind of how far they were teasingly saying they expected Tom and Manoucehr to go."

"They implied that they'd have accepted that as doing enough."

Quick feels wounded by the fact that there was no evidence linking him explicitly or implicitly with the dealing taking place in the club -- especially as he'd clamped down on his own friends when he was manager of the venue.

"There wasn't a single shred of evidence that I was involved with the dealers that ruined the club and my life, but I've still gone down." he said.

"It hurts me that I've been found guilty and it hurts me even more that as resident DJ and promoter they could find me responsible."

"I never allowed anyone to sell or pass a tablet at any time."

"When I was manager I arrested friends who were caught with pills, which is a difficult thing to do but I had to do it."

Mixmag, the long-running dance music magazine, has launched a campaign to free the 'Plymouth Two' and also warn other promoters who risk prosecution.

"Other club owners, promoters and fellow DJs for God's sake, please be careful," said Quick.

"Make sure what happens to me doesn't happen to you."

"They need to know that Big Brother is coming to ruin the night time economy."

"The harm to neighbourhoods that is increasingly associated with illegal cultivation and trade in cannabis provides a challenge for law enforcement within the United Kingdom," said Mark Matthews, the new 'cannabis co-ordinator' and a former Chief Superintendent.

"The police service is responding to that challenge, with more raids on cannabis farms than we have seen previously and a tougher approach to policing cannabis on the street."

"We now want to step up action against the organised crime networks that are involved in the cannabis trade."

"Traditionally, law enforcement has focussed upon drug issues at the point of importation."

"Here we are seeing criminals producing drugs within our local neighbourhoods."

Matthews is keen to connect cannabis cultivation with organised crime.

"The same criminals are also very often engaged in other forms of illegal activity such as counterfeiting, tax evasion and people trafficking," he said.

He is also asking people to actively watch out for suspicious behaviour -- and report anything they find to the police.

"I would ask property rental companies, landlords and local residents to be vigilant and to report any suspicious circumstances in confidence to their local police station or to Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111," Matthews said.

The appointment of Matthews has been enthusiastically welcomed by ministers.

"Mark will help to ensure that we have a consistently robust enforcement approach to tackling large scale cannabis cultivation and help to put away the organised criminal gangs who seek to profit from this illegal harmful activity," said Vernon Coaker, a junior Home Office minister and someone who has confessed to using cannabis in the past.

"I want those criminal gangs who are involved in supplying illegal drugs to experience the fact that the UK is a hostile place in which to do business."

"We will bring them to justice and seize their ill gotten gains."

"I know that Mark shares my ambition."

"Whilst cannabis use has fallen in recent years, we know that the market share of skunk has grown."

"Mark's appointment shows that we are not complacent against the scourge of any illegal drug."

"We will continue to bear down on drug dealers through tough enforcement; while providing education through information campaigns such as the FRANK website in order to warn our young people about the dangers of illegal drugs."

"We understand he's one of a number of Brits who are due to be released under an amnesty," said a spokesperson for the Foreign Office.

"This does not mean a quashed conviction."

"We believe there are around 11 or 12 who will be released imminently and who will then be deported."

The DJ, whose real name is Raymond Bingham, was given a four year sentence after inadvertently bringing 2.16g of cannabis with a street value of £10 into the notoriously intolerant country.

"The drugs were in my possession and I forgot I had them in my trousers," he said at the time.

Bingham was also found in possession of a pornographic DVD, which is illegal in the UAE.

He struggled to deal with his situation, bemoaning the fact that such a tiny amount of cannabis would have not attracted such a harsh sentence in his home country.

“I just want this to end and to never come back," he said in an interview conducted during his sentence.

"It was a small amount."

"Back home I would not even get prosecuted."

He served ten months of his jail term before his release under the amnesty -- a beneficiary of the Emirates' royal family tradition of giving some prisoners their liberty as Ramadan begins.

Before his conviction, the pioneering DJ had worked for BBC Radio 1 -- the station has been conspiciously silent in its support of Bingham in his plight.

The BBC has refused to clarify whether he will be returning to his former slot on Radio 1.

"He has only just got back to the country and is spending time with his family and friends, but he'll meet with Radio 1 management in due course and we'll see what happens from there," said a BBC spokesperson.

"My entire career depends on me getting off this list," said Erich Scherfen, who served as an infantryman in the US Army for 13 years.

"I probably won't be able to get a job anywhere else in the world having this mark that I'm on this list."

Scherfen's quandary may have come about as a result of his conversion to Islam.

His wife, Rubina Tareen, emigrated from Pakistan when she was 17 and is now a US citizen.

She now runs a small business selling Islamic books and DVDs, which she claims are non-political in content.

"I have no idea why I am on the list, and they're not telling officially that I'm even on the list," Scherfen said.

Colgan Air, Mr Scherfen's employers, informed him in April that his job would be terminated on September 1st unless he got his name removed from the list.

A lawsuit has now been filed in a federal court in Pennsylvania, asking the US government to remove Scherfen and his wife, from any watch lists or databases that prevent them travelling.

"It is quite clear when the government does something that takes away not just your job but your occupation, your career, they have to provide you with some means to clear your name," said Witold Walczak of the American Civil Liberties Union, who is representing Scherfen and his wife in court.

"Unfortunately, it is a problem that is shared by countless individuals who have no connection to terrorism, have no connection to crime and don't belong on this list."

"The problem with what the government is doing is that they really don't care about innocent casualties."

Scherfen feels that an already terrible situation has been made worse by his 13 year record of serving his country in conflicts such as the Gulf War.

"We served honourably," he said.

"We served in a war."

"And they're thumbing their noses at us, basically, and that makes me feel...really sad about this situation."

"Women named Jill and Hillary should be raped," read one of the postings by 'AK-47'.

Lawyers for the students have now determined the true identity of AK-47 -- and once his identity is revealed on court papers, his nascent legal career may be over before it really began.

The controversy began even before one of the women began law school in 2005.

Identified as 'Jane Doe I' in court papers, she was alerted to a comment thread on the AutoAdmit site titled 'Stupid Bitch to Attend Law School.'

The thread contained remarks such as 'I think I will sodomize her. Repeatedly' and a reply claiming that 'she has herpes.'

The second plaintiff, 'Jane Doe II', also recieved similar treatment.

Although the lawsuit was filed one year ago, there has been silence from the litigants and their legal team.

Some lawyers are starting to wonder whether the case is worth pursuing.

"You have good lawyers putting their time in on the case, and in a policy sense, they are achieving something," said Professor Ann Bartow of the University of South Carolina School of Law.

"But in a victim sense -- assuming you think of the women as victims -- it's not clear what this is going to achieve."

Some feel that the case is symptomatic of a culture where technology changes so quickly that regulators are struggling to catch up.

"The internet isn't a radical-free zone where you can hurt people," said Professor Daniel Solove of George Washington University.

"But on the other hand, we can't have everyone rushing to the court, because the court is a blunt tool."

"We need something to help shape norms -- there needs to be some kind of push back against the notion that the internet is a place where you can say what you want and screw the consequences."

"That's not what free speech is about."

One solution that has been mooted is a regime similar to the DMCA, where intellectual property violations on websites are subject to a 'take-down' notice -- if the host complies, they are immune from further legal action.

But even that solution has detractors who feel that it threatens free speech protected by the US constitution.

"I think you run the risk of too much take-down," said Jason Schultz, acting director of the Law, Technology and Public Policy Clinic at the University of California in Berkeley.

"I think you need procedural hurdles in place since we are talking about a constitutional right."

The ruling by the court gives a green light to all gay and lesbian groups in Greece who want to use the term.

"This is a good decision for lesbians everywhere," said Vassilis Chirdaris, lawyer for OLKE, the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece.

"A court in Athens could not stop people around the world from using it."

"It was ridiculous."

Although the lawsuit was widely interpreted as homophobic, the plaintiffs denied that this was the case.

"My sister can't say she is a lesbian," said Dimitris Lambrou, one of the litigants.

"Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos."

"This is not an aggressive act against gay women."

"Let them visit Lesbos and get married and whatever they like."

"We just want [the group] to remove the word lesbian from their title."

"The word lesbian has been associated with gay women for the past few decades but we have been lesbians for thousands of years."

Lesbos was home to the poetess Sappho in the 6th century BC, who was renowned for her poetry in praise of same-sex love.

But the islanders were in denial about Sappho's proclivities -- an idea that modern scholars find laughable.

"The term lesbian to define women who love women exists in every dictionary of just about all UN member nations," said Andrea Gilbert, spokesperson for Athens Pride 2008 and a member of OLKE.

"The term is recognised universally."

Some think that the case was symptomatic of a culture that is still in the grip of Orthodox Christianity.

"The church is literally out of control in its approach towards us, the media full of hate speech and the conservative government both hypocritical and indifferent," said Grigoris Valianatos, a well known gay rights activist.

"This trial is a reflection of the homophobia that prevails in Greece."

The plaintiffs were ordered to pay costs in the amount of 230 euros (£182).

"The paparazzo is just as much covered by the First Amendment as you or I, or any Joe Schmo up the street," said Lucy Dalglish, executive director of the Virginia-based Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press.

"I don't think under any First Amendment law you can single out a paparazzi photographer."

But concerns over public safety are making city leaders contemplate measures to restrict how paparazzi can operate -- Malibu is the latest area to propose legislation.

"My obligation is to protect everyone, not just the paparazzi," said Councilman Andy Stern, representing Malibu City .

"If they want us to ignore them, that's just not going to happen."

Earlier this year in nearby Los Angeles, a law proposed that paparazzi should stay several feet away from the stars that they photograph.

"It's becoming more combative where people are saying they've had enough with these people," said LA Councilman Dennis Zine.

"Right now, you have no laws that really apply."

"You have a chaotic situation that keeps on getting worse."

The number of paparazzi increase every year, driven by falling equipment costs and the growing desire of the public to see celebrities at their most vulnerable.

"They want to see them with their hair kind of messed up, they want to see them with maybe some spaghetti sauce on their shirt, they want to see them a little bit pudgy," said Brad Elterman, co-owner of Los Angeles-based agency Buzz Foto.

Elterman pointed out that one good shot could be sold to multiple outlets, making the business a lucrative way to make money without excessive effort.

"It's like the Mafia, once you're in you never want to leave," he said.

Coombe End Farmhouse on the banks of the Thames near Goring-on-Thames in Oxfordshire featured a boathouse thought to have been the model for the home of Ratty, one of the heroes of Grahame's classic tale.

The property was bequeathed to the National Trust in the 1930's, but recent years have seen it neglected.

After the previous tenants moved out in 2006, the house remained empty until April 2007 when the squatters took up residence.

"We took direct action in protest at the National Trust's neglect," said Hannah Beasley, squatter and qualfied care worker.

"We wanted to highlight the fact that old historic buildings are being left to rot while a lot of young people are struggling to afford a place to live in."

The National Trust states that they are seeking to 'secure a long-term future' for the house and are drawing up conservation plans -- but the squatters claim action is needed now.

"There are numerous options, but they are choosing to just board it up and let it fall into greater disrepair," said Beasley.

"It leaves you wondering whether they are waiting for this wonderful building to be condemned."

After a series of court hearings, the National Trust have been granted a possession order -- meaning that the squatters could be evicted within days.

But the National Trust have gained little sympathy amongst some locals for their treatment of the house.

"It's disgusting the way they have left such a beautiful house go to ruin," said Richard Hazell, whose farm is near the property.

The National Trust were anxious to point out that they have no plans to allow the house to collapse or sell it off.

"We would never contemplate anything but a restoration of this farmhouse which is on land which the National Trust can never sell," said a spokesperson.

"The squatters have delayed our efforts to examine all of the options to secure the future of this listed building."

'Bean curd made by a pock-marked woman' becomes 'Mapo tofu', whilst 'Chicken without sex life' has been renamed 'Steamed pullet.'

Officials will no doubt have been keen to see 'Government abused chicken' rebranded as 'Kung pao chicken.'

Beijing's local government have produced a book of these translations and are calling on restauranteurs to pick up their copy and begin translating menus in readiness for the Olympics.

"It's not compulsory," said Su Shan of the Beijing Tourism Administration.

"They can choose to use the translations or not for bilingual menus."

"About one third of the hotels in Beijing, including the 119 designated Olympic hotels, have received the pamphlet."

But this kowtowing to foreigners has not gone down well with the Chinese.

"I don't like this new naming method, it's abandoning Chinese tradition," said one Internet commenter.

"There are many stories in the names of these dishes."

Commentators have also been critical of the translations.

"The process of standardising a menu translation is a double-edged sword," said Raymond Zhou of China Daily.

"It removes the ambiguity and unintended humor, for sure."

"But then it takes away the fun and the rich connotation too."

"It turns a menu into the equivalent of plain rice, which has the necessary nutrients but is devoid of flavour."

Zhou also pointed out inconsistencies in the way that dishes have been translated.

"What is puzzling is the use of transliteration when the meaning can be tersely put across in English," he said.

"Why is 'fish-flavoured' passed up and 'yu-shiang' chosen?"

"The latter does not mean anything for those who are not into the Chinese language."

But restauranteurs appear to be grateful for the translations, which they see as being of great help.

"Thanks to the pamphlet, we do not have to struggle to come up with the English translations of dishes any more, which is usually time consuming," said Mr Wang, a senior manager at Beijing's Guangzhou fine dining restaurant.

The temple at Sabarimala in Kerala is dedicated to the forest deity Ayyapa and is visited by nearly 50 million people during the autumn pilgrimage season.

As a result, the temple receives huge amounts of donated cash, as well as gold, silver and diamond jewellery.

For some of those working as money counters ten years ago, temptation proved too great and several thefts occurred.

The temple's management then instituted a policy that money counters could only wear a dhoti (a type of sarong) and nothing else, in the belief that this would deter thieves.

But the policy has caused misery for those innocent of any crime -- and now a petition filed with Kerala State Human Rights Commission has resulted in censure for the temple.

“Those engaged in counting were silently suffering the insult because of the misdeeds of a few,” said G. Baiju, general secretary of Travancore Devaswom Employees’ Front (TDEF), which filed the petition before the commission.

"We are made to wear only a mundu (dhoti) and perhaps a second one, a randaam mundu, but were often made to strip on the demand of security guards."

"This has been causing us mental agony."

Employees on their way out were also scrutinised by security guards.

"The employees on duty are made to strip before an officer before leaving the office to ensure that they do not carry anything in their underwear," said Chavara Gopakumar of TDEF.

"It is humiliating and an insult to human dignity."

The temple's management have now agreed to end the practice, and are now looking into installation of modern surveillance systems.

It is now hoped that the Government will set up a trust to better manage the affairs of the temple -- and prevent controversies like the underwear ban from occuring again.

Chief Douglas Zeigler, the head of the NYPD's Community Affairs Bureau and the highest uniformed black officer on the force, was off duty and sitting in his department-issued SUV on a street in Queens when two plain clothes officers approached.

Supporters of the two officers -- both white -- claim that the vehicle was parked near a fire hydrant, giving them just cause to question the driver.

For reasons that are unclear, Zeigler apparently identified himself as a fellow officer but his ID badge wasn't trusted.

Doubts have been expressed anonymously about the behaviour of the officers.

"How you can not know or recognise a chief in a department SUV with ID around his neck, I don't know," according to an unnamed source inside the force.

The NYPD appear to be taking Zeigler's side, with their official spokesperson claiming that the officers attempted to wrest open the door, even after the chief had made efforts to identify himself.

"He dealt with the chief in a discourteous manner, which is unacceptable," said Paul Browne for the NYPD.

The incident is the latest in a long line of controversies involving race and the NYPD.

There have been recent protests against the acquittal of three police officers accused of killing an unarmed man as he left his own stag party.

"You can't make this stuff up!" said the Reverend Al Sharpton, in his condemnation of the Zeigler incident.

"The problem isn't that they didn't recognise him."

"It is that they don't recognise our rights!"

Criticism of the officers' behaviour also came from New York politicians.

"Something is wrong with our Police Department and their interactions with people of colour," said State Senator Eric Adams, a former police captain representing Brooklyn.

One of the officers involved, Michael Granahan, has now been stripped of his badge and gun.

He has now been placed on 'modified duty', pending a full investigation.

Members of the Hawaiian Kingdom Government took over the grounds of the 'Iolani Palace, seat of Queen Lili'uokalani, for nearly four days in a peaceful protest against perceived US imperialism.

The 'Iolani Palace is currently a museum, open for school groups and paid tours.

Employees, volunteers, and tourists were prevented from entering during the occupation -- only members of the media were allowed inside.

"This is our seat of government and always will be," said Mahealani Kahau, elected leader of the secessionist group.

"As long as we have breath to speak, we'll be here."

The group claims that more than one million acres in the Hawaiian Islands were illegally seized during the overthrow of the Hawaiian monarchy in 1893, 11 years after the 'Iolani Palace was built.

"If you know the culture, how Lili'uokalani was overthrown, then you would understand the urgency of the Hawaiian people," said Marialena Kalamau, a member of the Hawaiian Kingdom Government.

"The white man came and made us think the government was overthrown -- it was not," added Kalamau's mother Dixie, also a member of the Government.

The protesters plan to re-establish the 'Iolani Palace as the seat of their Government.

"This is the manifestation of the frustration of the Hawaiian people for the loss of sovereignty and land," said Kalani English, a Native Hawaiian State Senator.

"This made a statement."

"It got the word out about the plight of the Hawaiian people."

Kippen de Alba Chu, executive director of the 'Iolani Palace, was highly critical of the protest.

"It is historically wrong for any individual or group to state that the palace is to serve as a Government building," said Chu.

"We welcome any group who would like to celebrate the history of 'Iolani Palace and Hawaii's monarchy in a historically appropriate manner that embraces all visitors."

The island was home to the poetess Sappho in the 6th century BC, hence the coining of the phrase 'sapphism' to also describe lesbianism.

Although little of Sappho's work remains, she garnered a reputation as a poetess of great talent.

According to an epigram in the Anthologia Palatina attributed to Plato:

Some say the Muses are nine: how careless!
Look, there's Sappho too, from Lesbos, the tenth.

But the islanders contend that Sappho never practiced same-sex love -- a notion refuted by modern scholars.

Now they want modern-day lesbians to stop using the term and have turned to the Greek courts for redress.

They have targeted a group called the 'Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece' (OLKE), saying that their use of the term 'insults the identity' of the islanders.

"My sister can't say she is a lesbian," said Dimitris Lambrou, one of the litigants.

"Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos."

"This is not an aggressive act against gay women."

"Let them visit Lesbos and get married and whatever they like.

"We just want [the group] to remove the word lesbian from their title."

Lambrou's contention is that lesbian has only been used as a term to describe gay women for decades.

"But we have been lesbians for thousands of years," said Lambrou.

The group targeted by the lawsuit sees it as the product of 'prejudice'.

"The claim is based in serious prejudice and hatred," said Andrea Gilbert, spokesperson for Athens Pride 2008 and a member of OLKE.

"The term lesbian to define women who love women exists in every dictionary of just about all UN member nations."

"The term is recognised universally."

"OLKE, the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, is a legal entity whose name is legally accepted and registered in Greece."

"It has existed since 2003."

"This is a ridiculous claim that most Greeks find laughable."

"However, the underlying homophobia and reactionary sentiment is no laughing matter."

"We 'despised, name-usurping lesbians' from all over the world bring tons of money to the island in the form of tourism."

Gilbert is alarmed that the islanders seriously believe that Sappho was in fact heterosexual -- in contradiction to writings by the poetess in the first person that contain references to love for other women.

"According to them, the notion that she practiced same-sex love is a heinous distortion," said Gilbert.

"This would be hilariously funny if it wasn't so pathetic -- and so scary."

"Since it's a universally legally recognised term, their case will likely be thrown out, but with the New Democracy regime, one never knows how much pandering will go on."

58-year-old Kirkby grandmother Dot Reid was furious to discover that plans for a new Everton football stadium and associated retail complex would mean losing her home of 15 years.

She was one of the founders of St Patrick's Housing Co-operative, which now faces the compulsory purchase of their entire housing stock for subsequent demolition.

"I do not want my home knocking down for a superstore and a football stadium, but that is what will happen if the plans get passed," said Mrs Reid.

The tenacious Mrs Reid decided that the boss of Tesco, Sir Terry Leahy, deserved a taste of his own medicine.

Mrs Reid drew up plans in collaboration with architects to demolish Sir Terry's Hertfordshire mansion and replace it with a community garden.

"I thought how would Sir Terry and his family feel if their home was being threatened?" she said.

"That is why I put in an application to knock his house down."

As part of her research, Mrs Reid used Google Earth to get a satellite view of Sir Terry's mansion and the surrounding land.

“It’s massive," she said.

"You would be able to put Everton’s new stadium on his land.”

This controversy has come at a bad time for the supermarket -- profits are under pressure from the credit crunch, their plans for US expansion are believed to be failing, and they are currently suing critics in the UK and Thailand for libel.

Tesco is notorious for maintaining poor relations with the media, and their response to Mrs Reid's campaign was typically bullish.

"This is clearly a publicity stunt and has no chance of ever being implemented," said a spokesperson for the supermarket.

"The only outcome will be to waste council time, effort and taxpayers' money."

Welwyn Hatfield Council has confirmed that Mrs Reid's application will be treated like any other.

"I am appalled our homes are under threat," she said.

"It would mean the break-up of a happy community."

"I have not had any proper consultation over these plans and if I was asked, the answer would be: 'I am not moving and you are not knocking down my home.'"

The statement was issued by all 27 EU foreign ministers gathered at Brdo in Slovenia for a two day summit.

"The film equates Islam with violence and this view is sharply rejected," it read.

"The vast majority of Muslims reject extremism and violence."

The film has already been disowned by the Dutch government, and has attracted criticism from the UN Secretary-General, Ban Ki-Moon.

But the EU ministers were careful to point out that the EU also recognised the importance of freedom of expression.

"Feeling offended is no excuse for aggression or threats," they said.

"Muslims, Christians, and people of all convictions and beliefs must live together in peace and mutual respect."

Responses to the film inside the Netherlands have been surprisingly muted -- a stark contrast to the furore over the Danish cartoons of Mohammed.

The relaxed response may be attributed to statements before the release of Fitna by Mohammed Rabbae, a prominent Dutch-Moroccan leader.

"When the film is released, we should conduct ourselves with dignity," he said.

"If we get angry or even turn to violence, we will be doing exactly what Mr Wilders wants us to do."

Even Wilders was forced to admit on Dutch television that Dutch Muslims had behaved well in the aftermath of the film's release on the Internet.

"Ode to the Muslims in the Netherlands," he conceded.

Meanwhile, Wilders has been attracting comparisons to Osama Bin Laden (OBL), as some commentators have pointed out that Fitna is remarkably similar to Al-Qaeda's own propaganda films.

"Wilders and OBL do exactly the same thing -- they read 10% of the Koran, and use it to ‘prove’ that the Koran can be used to excuse terrorism, and conveniently ignore the other 90% of Islam’s Holy Book," wrote Michael van der Galien on the PoliGazette website.

"It’s a political manifesto -- Wilders wants to convince the viewer that Islam itself poses a threat to the West."

"Sadly for him, however, he can only make that case by ignoring the peaceful verses of Islam, and Islam’s long, peaceful, and intellectual history."

Omar Bakri, the former 'Tottenham Ayatollah' now banned from Britain, found the film so similar to Jihadist propaganda that he couldn't see much to be offended by.

"On the contrary, if we leave out the first images and the sound of the page being torn, it could be a film by the Mujahideen," he said.

To add to Wilders' miseries, businesses in the Netherlands may sue him if they are adversely affected by boycotts as a result of the film.

"A boycott would hurt Dutch exports," said Bernard Wientjes, chairman of the Confederation of Netherlands Industry and Employers.

"Businesses such as Shell, Philips, and Unilever are easily identifiable as Dutch companies."

"I don’t know if Wilders is rich, or well-insured, but in case of a boycott, we would look to see if we could make him bear responsibility.”

"I felt surprised, embarrassed, humiliated, scared and angry," said Mandi Hamlin, a 37-year-old from Texas.

"This situation was totally out of control."

"I will not sit quietly."

"No one deserves to be treated this way."

Her ordeal took place at Lubbock International Airport -- although she did not set off the metal detector, officals pulled her to one side for additional screening.

A handheld scanner used by a TSA officer beeped when it was waved over her breasts.

She was then told to remove her piercings, having to resort to asking for pliers when one nipple ring proved hard to remove.

"As Ms Hamlin struggled to remove the piercing behind the curtain, she could hear a growing number of predominantly male TSA officers snickering in the background," said Gloria Allred, the lawyer representing Ms Hamlin.

"Ms Hamlin did not want to remove her nipple piercings."

"After nipple rings are inserted, the skin can often heal around the piercing and the rings can be extremely difficult and painful to remove."

"In addition, once removed, the pierced skin may close up almost immediately, making it difficult and painful to reinsert the piercing."

The initial response from the TSA was initially bullish.

"TSA is well aware of terrorists' interest in hiding dangerous items in sensitive areas of the body, therefore we have a duty to the American public to resolve any alarm we discover," said a spokesperson for the agency.

But the TSA changed their tune after a flurry of negative publicity around the incident.

"TSA acknowledges that our procedures caused difficulty for the passenger involved and regrets the situation in which she found herself," according to a statement issued by the TSA.

"We appreciate her raising awareness on this issue and we are changing the procedures to ensure that this does not happen again."

Hamlin is now demanding an apology over the incident, one which her lawyer says could have been avoided if the TSA has adhered to proper procedures.

According to Allred, her client should have been offered the option of a pat-down to determine if her breasts were hiding a dangerous payload.

"Had she been told that she had a right to a pat-down, she would have chosen that option," Aldred said.

"I know it is important to obey traffic laws - but I have obviously made mistakes on this occasion and I am sorry," he said in a statement.

Journalists from the Daily Mirror covertly filmed Cameron riding his bike unlawfully on several occasions.

His list of infractions includes cycling the wrong way on a one-way street, crossing a road with the 'red man' sign showing, going the wrong way round a bollard, and edging past the white line at red traffic lights.

Road safety groups were critical of Cameron's behaviour.

"It is essential that all road users, including cyclists, obey traffic laws," said Kevin Clinton, head of road safety for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA).

"The laws are there for everybody's safety and, as always, it is disappointing when someone in the public eye sets a bad example."

A spokesperson for road safety charity Brake said: "The rules are there to protect everybody -- all road users, including motor vehicles, pedestrians and cyclists, have to stick to them."

"People are dying on the roads every day, and we can't afford to become complacent, because more people are going to be hurt if we start to break the laws."

"As a role model Mr Cameron must be aware that if he does break them, it is going to send out the wrong message to those he hopes to inspire."

But there was sympathy for him from a cyclist's campaign group.

"It shows what an ass cycling regulation [and] traffic management is in this country at the moment," said Kevin Mayne, director of CTC.

"We campaign in CTC for things like opening up one-way streets, which are allowed all over Europe."

"[Mr Cameron] is a yard in front of the white line in front of the Houses of Parliament -- frankly, that's where I'd go to get away from the cars."

"He was hardly jumping the light."

"If you give people power without oversight it is a formula for abuse," said Philip Zimbardo, professor at Stanford University.

Professor Zimbardo was delivering a presentation at the Technology, Entertainment, and Design conference in California.

He believes that a badly concieved environment is capable of turning someone who has been well behaved into a sadistic torturer.

"Abu Ghraib abuses went on for three months."

"Who was watching the store?"

"Nobody, and it was on purpose."

Zimbardo came to prominence in 1971, with the Stanford prison experiment -- students were divided into two groups consisting of prisoners and guards to study how their behaviour was dictated by their role.

The pretend guards grew so sadistic and the prisoners so cowed that the experiment was stopped prematurely as there was a serious risk of injury.

Zimbardo was approached in 2004 to assist in the defence of a soldier under investigation for abuses at Abu Ghraib.

This gave him the opportunity to see previously confidential photographs detailing the acts of torture committed there.

"I was shocked when I saw those pictures but I wasn't surprised."

"Because I had seen those cells before at Stanford."

"The power is in the system."

"It's not bad apples, but bad barrel makers."

"There is an infinite capacity to make us behave kind or cruel, or make some of us heroes."

"The Stanford prison experiment shows the power of institutions to change behaviour."

"We took good apples and put them in a bad situation."

Professor Zimbardo was inspired by his work on the Abu Ghraib case to write a new book entitled 'The Lucifer Effect', where he analyses just how and why good people can be dehumanised to the point where they are capable of evil.

He also suggests that 'heroism is the antidote to evil' -- while superheroes make for unrealistic role models, the soldier that blew the whistle on abuses at Abu Ghraib was the kind of hero that society needs to be encouraging.

"Let's focus on justice and peace, which sadly our administration has not been doing."

Andre Gumprecht, 33, attended the post-final ceremony for his Central Coast Mariners team dressed in a khaki military uniform, along with a toothbrush moustache.

"Hitler was such a monster and for a lot of people, it's a very sensitive thing to be confronted with," said Ernie Friedlander, spokesperson for the Jewish community group B'nai B'rith.

"Even if it was done in jest, he is a role model and he should consider the impact of his actions," said Allon Lee, head of the Australia/Israel & Jewish Affairs Council.

The head of the Football Federation Australia (FFA) condemned the gaffe, stating that he would be demanding an explanation from Gumprecht.

"Such behaviour is not only stupid, but is also not tolerated by the FFA," said Ben Buckley, chief executive of the sports regulator.

With news of the scandal causing controversy in his native Germany, Gumprecht wrote an apology to the German people in the form of an open letter.

"My intention was solely to entertain, not insult and any suggestion that I might somehow be trying to support Nazi ideals or behaviour is simply ridiculous," Gumprecht wrote.

"I would also extend that heartfelt apology to everyone in Germany who might feel embarrassed or annoyed by my actions here in Australia."

"I have since apologized unreservedly and often for any offence caused to anyone here who might have been upset by my costume."

Gumprecht uses the letter to explain the rationale behind his choice of costume.

"In this country, the day after a big achievement -- e.g. being grand finalists -- a team will celebrate by enjoying a few beers in costume," he wrote.

"In the spirit of fun, the team, as a group, will decide on a costume for each player."

"This costume will be dependant upon that player's personality and their public perception."

"Given the sense of humour of Australians, this usually means something that makes fun of the player and can border on bad taste."

"Given my German heritage, plus my committed approach on the field, it was decided that I should go as Hitler."

"As it was meant in the spirit of fun, I admit I never gave it much thought, although I didn't wear any Nazi insignia or trappings."

Whilst pointing out that his fellow players selected his costume, Gumprect accepted his responsibility for the gaffe.

"It should be understood that I am not seeking to pass the blame."

"I realize that I am ultimately responsible for my decisions and actions and that on this occasion, I made a mistake."

"I unreservedly apologise for my apparent insensitivity and lack of forethought and any offence caused."

"I can assure you that I will consider my actions much more carefully in the future."

The plane was stationed at Andersen Air Force Base on the Pacific island of Guam.

"The two pilots ejected prior to the crash," Lieutenant Colonel Doug Smith of the USAF.

"One of them was medically evaluated and released and the other is in a stable condition at a naval hospital."

The crash site attracted a large crowd of islanders.

"I heard a loud bang, saw some smoke and a co-worker called me and told me what happened," said Albert Saboy.

"My co-worker was driving the water truck with the air-con on and windows up, he could still feel the burst."

It is believed that the B-2s were moved from their usual base on US soil to the Pacific, in case of any enemies of America exploiting their current deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan to launch a surprise attack.

"Andersen Air Force Base has long had a squadron of heavy bombers, deployed there to be close to Taiwan and the Korean Peninsula," said Robert Kaplan, Distinguished Visiting Professor in National Security at the US Naval Academy,

The crash came as little surprise to military analysts.

“I guess you could say the B-2 was due,” said Owen Cote, a military specialist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

“There’s not a plane in our inventory that hasn’t crashed."

"The odds were bound to catch up, even with a small force like the B-2.”

David Bermingham, Gary Mulgrew and Giles Darby conspired with former Enron Chief Financial Officer Andrew Fastow to defraud NatWest.

The trio persuaded NatWest to sell their stake in Enron venture LJM Cayman for the low price of US$1 million (£500,000) -- the stake was then sold on for US$19 million (£9.6 million), with the conspirators dividing US$7.3 million (£3.7 million) among themselves.

Judge Ewing Werlein ordered the three to pay back the US$7.3 million in order to 'regain their respect.'

He said that their former employer should recieve back 'every dollar or, over there, every pound.'

But Judge Werlein did pay tribute to 'the large amount of support each of you have been given by people who have seen your favourable qualities.'

"I wish you well in your future endeavours and I'm confident we will never see you before a court again," he said.

The verdict concludes a long running case -- they were first indicted in 2002, arrested in 2004, and were only extradited from the UK in 2006 after a legal battle.

But the court allowed the three to be released on bail, with the condition that they reside exclusively in Houston.

It is now hoped that the three can serve out the bulk of their sentence in a UK jail.

After paying back the money to Natwest and serving around half of their sentence in a US jail, they can apply to be transferred home.

For their part, the defendants were contrite and remorseful.

"At the time I didn't realise the implications of what was happening," said Darby in court.

"I failed to take the right course of action and I deeply regret that."

Mulgrew apologised 'unreservedly' for his deeds and said that they 'lacked integrity.'

"I'm just very glad this is over now," said Bermingham after the hearing.

"It's been a difficult time."

"We, the democratically elected leaders of our people, hereby declare Kosovo to be an independent and sovereign state," said the declaration.

"This declaration reflects the will of our people."

The declaration was read to the Kosovan parliament by Prime Minister Hashim Thaci.

Thaci was formerly a guerrilla commander during the 1998-99 war, fighting against the late Serb leader Slobodan Milosevic.

All 109 deputies present at the parliament voted unanimously with a show of hands.

The new Kosovan flag, with the outline of Kosovo in yellow on a blue background under six stars, was then carried into parliament.

"We feel the end of Serbia in Kosovo," said one onlooker.

"I can't believe I'm alive to see this day," said another.

Serbian Prime Minister Vojislav Kostunica was quick to brand the newly autonomous Kosovo as 'a false state.'

In a televised address, he described the US backers of the regime in Kosovo as 'ready to violate the international order for its own military interests.'

Up to 2,000 aggrieved Serbs converged on the US embassy in Belgrade, hurling stones, smashing windows and lighting firecrackers.

In the Kosovo Serb stronghold of Mitrovica, three hand grenades were thrown at UN and EU buildings.

"We'll see what happens during the night," said one Serb in Mitrovica.

"There will be a lot of armed people here."

Russia, a long term ally of Serbia, called for an emergency session of the UN Security Council.

But such a move would be unlikely to deter the United States and most EU members from recognising Kosovo.

Thaci was careful to address Serbian concerns directly, saying that 'Kosovo is the homeland of all its citizens.'

He said than Kosovo's newly independent state would provide guarantees to the Serb minority, ensuring that they would not become second-class citizens.

"Today, a new life begins," the Kosovo daily newspaper Koha Ditore wrote.

"The past should not be forgotten, but it belongs to the past, and should be forgiven."

"The window will open when the shuttle is on the ground," said Army Lt. Gen. Carter Ham, Joint Staff director of operations at the Pentagon.

"All those who have a vested interest in this will then apply their best judgment as to when the best opportunity is to intercept the satellite."

Lt. Gen. Ham, acknowledged the difficulties involved in accurately targeting the satellite.

"It's a bit of an imprecise science at this point," he said.

The satellite is carrying 1,000 pounds of poisonous hydrazine fuel in a tank expected to survive re-entry, as well as a fuel tank liner made from toxic beryllium.

If the satellite is not shot down, the hydrazine could disperse into the atmosphere and severely damage lung tissue or cause death.

The Bush administration is now trying to convince foreign countries that the mission is not a secret weapons test.

If the missile is successful, there are concerns that it could be used as an offensive weapon against enemy orbiting communications and intelligence systems.

The State Department has instructed US diplomats around the world to inform their host governments that the mission is solely about protecting people.

"Our role is to reassure nations around the world as to the nature of what we are tying to do," said Sean McCormack, Assistant Secretary of State.

"It's an attempt to try to protect populations on the ground."

"This particular action is different than any actions that, for example, the Chinese may have taken in testing an anti-satellite weapon."

"The missions are quite different and the technical aspects of the missions are quite different."

Putin made the declaration whilst sharing a platform with Ukrainian leader Viktor Yushchenko.

The two leaders had met to resolve a long running dispute involving the supply of gas.

Whilst there is little popular support for Nato membership in Ukraine, Yushchenko has made no secret of his ambitions to join the alliance.

"That of course is Ukraine's internal process and we don't have the right -- and we won't interfere in this process," said Putin.

But, he added, 'that raises the question for Russia of the need for retaliatory actions.'

"It's frightening not just to talk about, but even to think about, that in response to such deployment, the possibility of such deployments -- and one can't theoretically exclude these deployments -- that Russia will have to point its warheads at Ukrainian territory," he said.

"Can you imagine that for a second? That is what we are concerned about."

Yushchenko responded by stating that Ukraine was entitled to dicate their own foreign and defense policies.

But he also emphasised that the Ukrainian constitution does not allow foreign military bases on their soil.

"You understand well that everything that Ukraine does in this direction is not in any way directed at any third country, including Russia," Yushchenko said.

Putin's remarks will cause concern around the world, especially after recent comments he made in a speech to the Russian State Council.

Last week, he warned that a 'new phase in the arms race is unfolding in the world' -- a move that some saw as an assertion that Russia was firmly back on the world stage.

In Ukraine, politicians backed Yushchenko's stance on Putin's comments.

"We are an independent state and will make our decisions regardless of what others say," said former defence minister Anatoly Grytsenko, a senior member of Yushchenko's party.

Putin's pronouncement came on the same day as it was revealed that he would be attending April's Nato summit in Bucharest, Romania.

"This yet again testifies to the fact that Russia is open to dialogue on any issue," said Russian foreign minister Sergei Lavrov.

The British Olympic Association (BOA) wanted athletes to sign contracts with a clause demanding that they were 'not to comment on politically sensitive issues' -- they were threatened with exclusion from the games if they refused to comply.

The Olympics are intended to be a non-political event -- section 51 of the International Olympic Committee charter 'provides for no kind of demonstration, or political, religious or racial propaganda in the Olympic sites, venues or other areas.'

"The reality is, given the level of political scrutiny of the world's media on these games and the way China will handle them, the BOA felt it was sensible and proper to flag that rule to our athletes," said Graham Mewson, communications director for the BOA.

“There are all sorts of organisations who would like athletes to use the Olympic Games as a vehicle to publicise their causes," said Simon Clegg, BOA chief executive.

“I don't believe that is in the interest of the team's performance."

“As a team we are ambassadors of the country and we have to conform to an appropriate code of conduct.”

But the BOA's draconian tactics attracted widespread derision -- as well as reviving uncomfortable memories of the English football team giving Nazi salutes at the Berlin Olympics in 1936.

"If Simon Clegg and the BOA don't want to end up as despised as those who told our footballers to make Nazi salutes, he and his cronies should put those contracts where they belong", said David Mellor, former Conservative sports minister.

"Down the nearest lavatory."

"It's part of a pattern of us kow-towing to the Chinese communist authorities," said Nick Clegg (no relation), leader of the Liberal Democrats.

"They now play a significant role in the world economy and international affairs."

"That brings certain domestic responsibilities with it and I think for us to gag ourselves is a real abdication of our moral responsibility to push for human rights wherever they are being abused."

The BOA dramatically revised that position after the move attracted such widespread derision.

"I accept that the interpretation of one part of the draft BOA's Team Members Agreement appears to have gone beyond the provision of the Olympic charter," explained Simon Clegg in a statement.

"This is not our intention nor is it our desire to restrict athletes' freedom of speech and the final agreement will reflect this."

The BOA's climbdown was welcomed by human rights campaigners.

"We are delighted that good sense and better legal advice seem to be prevailing at the British Olympic Association," said Shami Chakrabarti, director of Liberty.

"We have no doubt that Article 8 of the Human Rights Act, which protects free speech, would have rendered the clause unenforceable."

Danny Johnson-Green's sons, Terry and James, were diagnosed with leukaemia within 24 hours of each other in November 2006.

In spite of a debilitating condition, he decided to make a 200-mile bike ride in March 2007 to benefit the cancer charity Clic Sargent.

Mr Johnson-Green has suffered from hemiplegia since birth -- the condition leaves him paralysed down one side of his body and makes simple everyday tasks painful.

"Every mile was a struggle," said Mr Johnson-Green.

"But I cycled the ride purely on adrenaline -- basically I was doing it for my boys and that was what mattered."

"I wasn't worried about the consequences."

An average healthy person could have completed a 200-mile ride in the course of a day -- it took Mr Johnson-Green four days as he had to stop every four miles for a break.

But Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) officials heard about his cycle ride and withdrew his benefits, which were meant to subsidise an adapted car.

"I was absolutely devastated."

"Not only were they taking money away that I need but they were taking away a car that was adapted to my needs."

"The ride was very important."

"It was about raising awareness of leukaemia and money."

"I want them to realise that they can't go around doing this to people."

The DWP have now demanded that he repays £2,600 of benefits.

Mr Johnson-Green is now planning to appeal the decision.

DWP officials have refused to pass comment on their handiwork.

"We are unable to comment on individual cases," said a spokesperson.

"Entitlement to Disability Living Allowance is not based on the diagnosis of a particular disability or illness, but on the care and mobility needs arising from the disability in each individual case."

"I want to put an end once and for all to the myth that the Holocaust is not being taught in schools or is being removed from the curriculum," said The Rt Hon Ed Balls MP, Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families.

"I am pleased to confirm that this is absolutely not the case."

In fact, learning about the Holocaust is compulsory for all state school pupuls between the ages of 11 and 14.

"We are clear that there are certain non-negotiable subjects, which are protected in schools -- one of those is the Holocaust."

"There is no evidence that schools are breaking the rules and not teaching the Holocaust."

In a separate initiative announced at the same time, two pupils from every sixth form and college in the country will be selected to visit the Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland.

"The Holocaust was one of the most horrific and profound events in world history and I want every young person to have an understanding of it."

The initiative has been made possible through a £4.65 million grant from the Holocaust Educational Trust.

"Not only do young people visit the site of one of history's greatest atrocities, but they come back inspired to make a difference today."

"The incredible work they undertake in their communities to teach others about the dangers of prejudice and discrimination bears witness to this."

The crackdown began last year in the run-up to a high profile Communist Party congress where the leadership for the next five years were elected.

"The order banned the showing of programs about exaggerated sexual life, sexual experiences, sexual understanding, sexual organs and the abilities of aphrodisiacs," said a statement from the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television (Sarft).

The Chinese administration was also keen for China's media to concentrate on 'wholesome' programming during this year's Beijing Olympics.

"Repeatedly broadcasting base and lascivious programs is serious and has had a terrible effect."

Hubei's management were blamed by the regulator for their failure to adequately supervise their TV output.

"This shows that the Hubei People's Radio and Television Station's propaganda and management abilities have serious flaws which are in urgent need of rectification."

But surprisingly, the station got away with a mere criticism -- and perhaps a subtle message from Sarft to other channels thinking of following Hubei's example.

"Provide more and better spiritual food for the masses."

Sarft has had more success in purging China of adverts considered to be sexually suggestive or downright falsehoods.

More than 3,000 transgressive adverts were revised or removed from radio and TV by the end of 2007.

"Radio and TV stations across the country have examined their schedules and months of effort to crack down on illegal adverts have had their effect."

"There is a growing demand among the British population for flexibility in their media consumption," said Neal McCleave, managing director of media services at Tiscali UK

"As broadcasters worry about the fragmentation of the media audience, they need to look to on-demand television which is proving itself capable of retaining audience share and growing viewing times."

The report, entitled Tiscali TV Trends 2008, found that 37% of UK viewers regularly watched on-demand content, an increase from 17% in 2006.

86% of the consumers who watched TV on demand in 2007 were viewing as many or more programmes than they did in the previous year.

63% of the people watching TV on-demand view the content on TV sets, with 38% using PCs.

Reasons given by viewers for using on-demand included catching up on a missed programme (58%), overcoming schedule clashes (39%) and flexibility (49%).

Londoners lead the country in the use of on-demand -- 26% say they use it daily and 29% weekly.

The move to on-demand viewing is being driven by broadcasters and telecoms companies, who all have competing offerings in the marketplace.

The BBC has notable success with the iPlayer, while Channel 4, Sky, Virgin Media and BT Vision are also pushing on-demand.

Tiscali, publishers of the report, also offer an on-demand TV service that delivers programmes over the internet.

"Tiscali TV has been developed for consumers who want more choice and flexibility than Freeview, but don't see the value in paying over the odds for satellite or cable services," said McCleave.

James Logan was due back in the county jail following a sentencing hearing on cocaine dealing and possession charges at the Marion Superior Court.

"He completely forgot," said Julio Fernandez, a spokesperson for the sheriff’s department.

"He just forgot that the guy was in there."

Deputy Tucker Parker's bout of amnesia resulted in Logain being locked in a cell alone for two days without food.

"I don’t think nobody should be treated like that," said Logan to reporters at Marion County Jail.

"People, when you put them in ‘the hole,’ you still get two meals a day."

As well as firing Deputy Parker, the sherriff's department suspended Deputy Richard Edgemon for two days.

Supervising Lieutenant James Wampler was suspended for 10 days, demoted to sergeant, and transferred away from court security duties.

"Mr Parker was really responsible to come back and move this prisoner," said Fernandez.

"The other gentlemen left shift without checking with him and that's where the suspension came about."

Logan had running water in the call and endured the ordeal without encountering medical problems.

But Kenneth Falk, legal director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Indiana, raised concerns that the outcome could have easily been much worse.

"This could have been a diabetic who could have been in a coma," he said.

"Obviously, this is a problem that should be looked into immediately."

The sheriff's department have vowed to improve procedures and prevent a reoccurance.

"It shouldn’t happen," said Kerry Forestal, the sheriff’s chief deputy.

"Serious steps have to be taken so there’s no doubt that a mistake like this will cost you your job."

In one notable case, a wiretap under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) was disrupted due to an overdue bill.

"Late payments have resulted in telecommunications carriers actually disconnecting phone lines established to deliver surveillance results to the FBI, resulting in lost evidence, including an instance where delivery of intercept information required by a FISA order was halted due to untimely payment," according to the Justice Department's report.

The report was critical of the FBI's poor handling of money used in undercover investigations -- making the agency vulnerable to theft and fraud.

Although the FBI admitted 'a few instances' where late payment of phone bills had led to surveillance disruptions, they tried to play down their significance.

"These interruptions were temporary and in our assessment, none of those cases were significantly affected," said a spokesperson for the FBI.

The American Civil Liberties Union responded to the audit by highlighting the apparent hypocrisy of telecoms companies demanding immunity from prosecution over wiretaps -- in return for them acting as responsible corporate citizens.

"It seems the telecoms, who are claiming they were just being 'good patriots' when they allowed the Government to spy on us without warrants, are more than willing to pull the plug on national security investigations when the government falls behind on its bills," said Michael German, an attorney for the ACLU.

Investigations of the FBI's finances were initiated after an employee pleaded guilty to stealing more than US$25,000 (£12,750) in confidential case funds intended for wiretapping.

An FBI spokesperson admitted that there was 'widespread agreement' that its antiquated accounting system is inadequate -- but improvements are in the pipeline.

"The FBI will not tolerate financial mismanagement," they said.

The rebranding has come about due to the upcoming Beijing Olympics as officials look forward to the influx of foreign tourists.

Brands including the famed roast duck restaurant Quanjude and traditional Chinese pharmacy Tongrentang retain their pinyin names but now have explanatory slogans tacked on.

Quanjude is now 'Quanjude Peking Roast Duck -- Since 1864' and Tongrentang is now 'Tongrentang Chinese Medicine -- Since 1669.'

"The translations give prominence to the history of the brands, while giving English speakers an idea of what they are or what they sell," said Professor Wang Dili, dean of the translation faculty at Beijing Foreign Studies University.

"The uniform structures serve as examples and will make translations of famous Chinese brands more standardised in future."

The companies involved have expressed their satisfaction with the move.

"We will consider registering a trademark and promoting the new names internationally," said Shi Binfeng, vice president of Quanjude.

But ordinary Chinese people are unhappy about the dilution of their culture.

"What Beijing brands need most aren't Western names, rather they should strengthen their brands and add value to the name," said an anonymous poster on Yahoo China's site.

The issue of naming has been provoking heated debate in China for sometime.

Zhao Qizheng, dean of the School of Journalism at Beijing's Renmin University, wants the Beijing Opera to adopt the term 'Jingju', the pinyin term for the artform.

Qizheng argued that Chinese operas are so different from their Western counterparts that it would cause confusion for English speakers.

In the northern city of Tianjin, 'Gou Bu Li' dumplings have controversially been rebranded as 'Go Believe.'

"Gou Bu Li has hundreds of years worth of history, and a great story behind the name," said a poster on the ganji.com site.

"If it is given a Western name, then all meaning will be lost."

"I'm certainly out of step with the majority of senior police officers, but not all of them," said Brunstrom during an appearance on BBC Radio 4's flagship news programme Today.

"But in terms of society, public attitudes change quite rapidly and you need look no further than drinking and driving: in the space of my lifetime drinking and driving has gone from being socially acceptable, almost the norm, to being socially unacceptable."

"I think that the legalisation and subsequent regulation of proscribed drugs is now inevitable, and I think it's ten years away, not ten months away."

Brunstrom has previously criticised prohibition and called for legal distribution of heroin to addicts in an effort to reduce crime.

But this is the first time that he has called for outright legalisation across the board.

"It has already happened in for instance Portugal, a full member of the European Union, decriminalised under the existing international treaties," he said.

"The same sort of thing is being talked about across the world."

"We're still causing something like £20bn worth of damage to our society every year."

"More than half of all recorded crime is caused by people feeding a drugs habit."

Clearly unafraid of courting controversy, Brunstrom asserted that ecstasy was relatively non-toxic compared to aspirin -- a claim that divides experts in the field.

"Ecstasy is a remarkably safe substance -- it's far safer than aspirin," he said.

"If you look at the government's own research into deaths you'll find that ecstasy, by comparison to many other substances -- legal and illegal -- it is comparably a safe substance."

Although his opponents may find his arguments unpalatable, Brunstrom feels that his position is the only rational and logical one to take.

"The government wants evidence-based policy; the evidence is very clear that prohibition doesn't work, it can't work, an enforcement-led strategy is making things worse, not better."

"This is truly the Holy Grail: To be able to take a few cells from a patient -- say a cheek swab or few skin cells -- and turn them into stem cells in the laboratory," said Robert Lanza of Advanced Cell Technology.

"This work represents a tremendous scientific milestone - the biological equivalent of the Wright Brothers' first airplane."

"It's bit like learning how to turn lead into gold."

Research in the field has been highly controversial as human embryos have been the main source of stem cells.

Some see the destruction of a viable embryo as unacceptable -- one reason why the US president has banned Federal funding for research employing embryonic stem cells.

Scientists have also come up against problems finding women willing to donate eggs -- all of which has posed problems for those wanting to carry out research.

But this new technique could do away with such obstructions -- so much so that cloning pioneer Ian Wilmut is abandoning cloned embryos.

"The fact that the introduction of a small number of proteins into adult human cells could produce cells that are equivalent to embryo stem cells takes us into an entirely new era of stem cell biology," he said.

But some researchers are sounding a note of caution.

"This new research is just the beginning -- we hardly understand how these cells work," said James Thomson of the University of Wisconsin at Madison, one of the scientists behind the new breakthrough.

"It is not the time to abandon stem cell research."

"We have 33 treaties with the United States that they have not lived by," said Phyllis Young, co-organiser of the first international conference on indigenous rights in Geneva in 1977.

"They continue to take our land, our water, our children."

"This is according to the laws of the United States, specifically article six of the constitution," added Russell Means, a veteran Native American activist, referrring to the principle that treaties are the supreme law of the land.

"It is also within the laws on treaties passed at the Vienna Convention and put into effect by the US and the rest of the international community in 1980."

"We are legally within our rights to be free and independent."

Lakota territory ecompasses parts of the states of Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota, Montana and Wyoming.

"We are no longer citizens of the United States of America and all those who live in the five-state area that encompasses our country are free to join us," said Means.

They will issue their own passports and driving licences, and exempt residents of Lakota country from taxes -- as long as they renounce their US citizenship.

The declaration of independence is the culmination of a movement started 33 years ago.

It was in 1974 when the Lakota made a 'declaration of continuing independence.'

Since then, they have waiting for the right moment to make their move.

"It takes critical mass to combat colonialism and we wanted to make sure that all our ducks were in a row," said Means.

One recent event that may have encouraged the Lakota was September's non-binding declaration by the United Nations on the rights of indigenous peoples.

The declaration came about in spite of opposition from the US, which said it conflicted with its own laws.

"Our people want to live, not just survive or crawl and be mascots," said Young.

"We are not trying to embarrass the United States."

"We are here to continue the struggle for our children and grandchildren."

"The reform would have made some frightening changes in our country," said Astrid Badell, an 18-year-old Venezuelan.

"It would have practically been a copy of the Cuban constitution, and that would have been a big step backward."

The final result was close run -- 51% voted no against 49% voting yes.

Chavez was his usual bullish self in the face of defeat.

"This is not a defeat. This is another 'for now,'" he said, echoing the statement he made after his first attempt to wrest power in a 1992 coup d'etat.

As well as scrapping term limits on Chavez's rule, the proposed reforms would have boosted his powers to seize private property and censor the media.

The referendum drew opposition from many sections of society including students, business groups, opposition parties, human rights groups, the Catholic Church, former political allies and even his normally loyal ex-wife.

Once news of Chavez's defeat became known, the streets of Caracas began filling with opposition activists cheering, honking horns and waving flags out of car windows.

"Venezuela said 'No' to socialism, Venezuela said 'Yes' to democracy," said Leopoldo Lopez, the popular Mayor of the Chacao Municipality of Caracas.

"We have an agreement. All the money was taken out of unspent funds, mostly for agriculture," said a spokesperson for the EU presidency, currently held by Portugal.

Budget ministers agreed to make up the 2.4 billion euro (£1.7 billion) shortfall after the private sector refused to pay for a significant part of the project.

Questions have been raised over the necessity of Europe needing an alternative to the American GPS network.

As the system currently operates well and supports a burgeoning industry, there has been little momentum to far to create a rival network for Europe.

Russia and China are also developing their own rivals to Navstar.

The greatest beneficiaries from Galileo in the short-term will be the aerospace companies commissioned to implement it.

Galileo will require up to 30 satellites, their launch vehicles, ground mission infrastructure and system software.

"If a proposal like that comes through and the financing is secured, it would offer a decisive benefit for Germany's aerospace industry," said a spokesperson for Germany's transport ministry.

The original consortium charged with building Galileo included EADS, Thales and Alcatel-Lucent.

Inmarsat, Finmeccanica, AENA, Hispasat and Deutsche Telekom were also involved but the consortium collapsed after the firms refused to assume the risks of part-funding Galileo.

The railway network in France was already ailing in the face of an eight day strike.

So when the suspected saboteurs attacked signaling connections for the four main SNCF high-speed services out of Paris, nationwide delays ensued.

"Those responsible for these acts of sabotage no doubt believed they could interrupt the negotiations and the return to work that is under way at the SNCF," said Prime Minister Francois Fillon in a statement to parliament.

"Well, I'm telling them they are very much mistaken."

The unions denied that their members were involved, stating that there was no evidence to support such claims.

The sabotage has come at a critical time as unions, management, and government negotiate to end the dispute.

But rail union leader Didier Le Reste does not believe the dispute will be resolved quickly.

"It's not Didier Le Reste who's going to decide," he told reporters before a meeting with the SNCF and RAPT, the company responsible for public transport in Paris.

"There'll be democratic debates in the local committees," he said.

The dispute has come at a volatile time in French politics as President Sarkozy attempts to impose Thatcherite reforms on the country.

Teachers, postal workers and civil servants held a one day strike this week in protest at the government's economic program.

They have promised more one day stoppages if Sarkozy continues his attempts at reform.

Tobacco shop owners have also revolted against a smoking ban in bars due next year, taking their grievances onto the streets.

And in an echo of the infamous May 1968 riots that shook France and deposed DeGaulle, universities have been disrupted by protests over education reform.

“We want them to know about him. He’s saying he’s the big 9/11 hero. It’s a big fabrication,” said Jimmy Riches, a New York deputy fire chief and father of Jimmy Riches Jr, a firefighter killed at the World Trade Centre.

“He failed to prepare us for 9/11.”

“Why did they give radios to my son that didn’t work?”

“I want him to answer all the questions and admit the mistakes that were made.”

It has taken years for people to come forward and criticise Giuliani in public -- even the Democrats have been reluctant to attack him until recently.

"Rudy Giuliani, there's only three things he mentions in a sentence," said Democrat Senator Joe Biden, during a presidential debate last month.

"A noun, a verb and 9/11."

Riches and other firefighters are now looking to set up a so-called 527 committee, similar to the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth group that brought down John Kerry's run at the White House in 2004.

"We're thinking of setting up one of those 527 funds to tell the story of what happened and let the people decide who they want to vote for," he said.

Riches has been critical of many aspects of Giuliani's leadership -- apart from defective radios that hampered operations, Riches contends that the clean-up afterwards was a disaster.

"We still have human remains at a garbage dump in Staten Island," said Riches.

Another point of contention is whether Giuliani deceived clean-up workers on the air quality at Ground Zero -- many people have reported serious illnesses which they believe came about as a result of breathing the air.

"Giuliani failed us before 9/11, during 9/11 and after 9/11," said Riches.

Three quarters of those polled believe that the US is going through a leadership crisis, up 7% from 2006.

Around 80% feel that the country will slide into decline unless it gets better leaders.

51% believe that the decline has already started and that the US is being overtaken by other countries.

Two thirds say that in comparison with the leaders of 20 years ago, today's administration leaves much to be desired.

Such results should come as no surprise in a climate where the President and Congress are experiencing dismal popularity ratings.

"A lot of leaders are really impotent in changing the direction of things," says Professor Arnold Ludwig of Brown University, author of a book on political leadership.

He points the finger of blame at Congress.

"People are frustrated as to why the Democrats can't stop the war, why they can't curb the president," he says.

"Leaders are supposed to get things done."

A string of political scandals in recent times, such as the Valerie Plame case have also shaken public confidence.

"Scandals are the most public version of poor performance," said Tom Smith, director of the General Social Survey at the National Opinion Research Center.

Perhaps surprisingly, it is the military that get the greatest vote of confidence.

40% of those polled had a great deal of confidence in those who lead the armed forces.

Compare that with the approval ratings for the President and Congress: 19% and 9% respectively.

But the mood is not all pessimistic -- 59% of those polled believe that the US will have better leaders in 20 years time.

Around half believe that better leadership could begin next year -- many citing the election of the next President as crucial to improving the current situation.

"The suitcase nuke is an exciting topic that really lends itself to movies," said Vahid Majidi, assistant director of the FBI Weapons of Mass Destruction Directorate.

"No one has been able to truly identify the existence of these devices."

This hasn't stopped politicians from talking them up as a real threat, more dangerous than a missile.

"Perhaps the most likely threat is from a suitcase nuclear weapon in a rusty car on a dock in New York City," said Senator Byron Dorgan during a hearing on Capitol Hill.

FEMA's website contains references to the possible threat from suitcase nukes.

"The strength of such a weapon would be in the range of the bombs used during World War II," according to a FEMA guide on terrorist disasters.

"The nature of the effects would be the same as a weapon delivered by an intercontinental missile, but the area and severity of the effects would be significantly more limited."

Since the 1960s. defectors have claimed that Soviet military intelligence officers were carrying portable nuclear devices in suitcases.

But as far as we know, the US never proved the existence of Soviet-made suitcase nukes.

Ironically, it was the US that developed the first such device -- a 'backpack nuke' that could be used to blow up dams, tunnels or bridges.

The technology was supposedly abandoned -- but the stories that the Russians were developing their own version started.

Suitcase nukes came back into the spotlight in 1997 with allegations made by retired General Alexander Lebed, former Russian security chief.

Lebed claimed that the separatist government in Chechnya had suitcase nukes -- but the Russians denied that his claims were accurate.

"Nobody at the present stage seeks to develop such devices," asserted Colonel-General Viktor Yesin, former head of the Russian strategic rocket troops.

More stories emerged in 1998, when former Russian military intelligence officer Stanislav Lunev claimed that he was charged with finding locations around the US where small nukes could be concealed for use in future conflicts.

"I had very clear instructions: These dead-drop positions would need to be for all types of weapons, including nuclear weapons," said Lunev.

But Lunev was never able to pinpoint any specific location.

According to Majidi, it takes 22 pounds of plutonium or 130 pounds of uranium to create a nuclear detonation.

This rules out uranium as practical -- but plutonium is hard to find, as it's only governments with a plutonium reprocessing program that have it.

Terrorists would have a hard time stealing it -- and no government is going to willingly release plutonium as it would have too distinctive a 'signature' that would trace it back to its source.

"I don't think any nation is willing to participate in this type of activity," Majidi said.

Laura Holgate, a vice president at the Nuclear Threat Initiative, is more worried about enriched uranium.

She considers it a threat as it exists not only at nuclear weapons sites worldwide, but also in more than 100 civilian research facilities around the world -- often with inadequate security.

Holgate believes that the potential danger is not from small portable nukes, but from cruder and more improvised devices.

"Like SUV-sized. Way bigger than a suitcase," said Holgate.

"It's like holding a wedding at a graveyard," said Aleksandar Mosic, chairman of Sajmiste's memorial centre.

Sajmiste, known to the Nazis as Judenlager Zemlin, was sited on the western bank of the Sava River at the site of the Belgrade Fair exhibition ground -- in clear view of Belgrade's residents on the eastern side.

"It was the only death camp in Europe which was so visible," said Mosic.

"The intention was to intimidate the Serb population by letting them see what was going on inside the camp.

"For our small nation, the Sajmiste camp was as horrendous as Dachau or Sachenhosen in Germany."

Nearly all of Belgrade's 8,000 Jews were killed there soon after it was set up in 1941.

Thousands of socialists and Serb nationalists were also killed at Sajmiste.

Since the Second World War ended, Belgrade has spread across the river to the western bank -- making Sajmiste a prime site for redevelopment.

The Serbian promoters of the Kosheen concert scheduled for this weekend decided to cancel it, citing 'pressure from foreign and domestic media.'

"We hope that the big publicity created around the Staro Sajmiste site will be used for solving the problem of renovating the place," a spokesperson for the Long Play company.

Mosic would like to see the site taken out of private hands and returned to state ownership -- ensuring that the site can become a museum marking the terrible events that occurred there.

"The only former camp in Europe which doesn't have a monument for the killed Jews," he said.

"It's our shame."

"I hope it's enough to deter them from doing this to other families. It was not about the money. It was about getting them to stop," said Albert Snyder, father of Lance Corporal Matthew Snyder.

The church, led by disbarred lawyer Fred Phelps, practices a form of Lutheran fundamentalism -- in short, if you're not a member of their sect then you are damned to hell.

Their rise to notoriety has come about due to their repeated pickets at the funerals of dead US soldiers, all 'fag enablers' fighting for a corrupt nation.

Pickets consist of Westboro members holding signs with slogans such as 'God Hates Fags,' 'God Hates America.' 'Thank God For Dead Soldiers,' and 'Fag Troops.'

The church has maintained that the pickets are protected by the US Constitution under the First Amendment.

But the jury felt differently and the church and three of its leaders were found liable for invasion of privacy and intent to inflict emotional distress.

Albert Snyder was awarded US$2.9 million in compensatory damages and US$8 million in punitive damages.

The church are unrepentant.

"Don't you understand this was an act in futility?" said Shirley Phelps-Roper, daughter of Westboro's founder Jim Phelps and one of those found liable for damages.

Craig Trebilcock, one of the lawyers for the Snyder, was also in a defiant mood, describing the verdict as 'Judgement Day for the Westboro Baptist Church.'

"They're always talking about other people's Judgement Day. Well, this is theirs," he said.

"How serious can you get about running as a joke?" said Massie Ritsch of the Center for Responsive Politics, an activist group that monitors campaign finances.

"The Federal Election Commission doesn't have a great sense of humor."

The difficulties have come about due to the lack of precedent -- no TV host has made a run for the presidency in this fashion before, whether in jest or not.

"The real problem comes in the fact that he actually has his own show, talking about his campaign, paid for by a network," said Lawrence M. Noble, formerly a lawyer for the FEC.

"These are the kind of things on slow days you'd debate until the late afternoon at the FEC, but there are serious questions that come up.

"In theory, he could end up having some campaign finance problems."

Matters are complicated by the uncertainty over Colbert's intentions -- is it a joke that got out of hand or is it a real presidential campaign?

"I think a lot of people are asking whether -- they say, 'Is this, is this real,' you know?" said Colbert while appearing on an edition of NBC's Meet the Press.

"And to which I would say to everybody, this is not a dream, OK?

"You're not going to wake up from this, OK?

"I'm far realer than Sam Brownback, let me put it that way."

The only thing protecting Colbert at the moment is that he has not raised any money yet from donations -- federal election laws kick in when US$5,000 or more has been collected.

"As a practical matter, I'd think the FEC is going to stay out of it unless he starts soliciting a lot of money," said Noble.

"If he was to start soliciting contributions, it could be a lot more serious."

Colbert for his part has used the debate as material for his comedy routines.

"In accepting corporate money, I promise to respect federal election laws the same way I respect the must-shower-before-swimming law at the Y," he said on his show, Comedy Central's Colbert Report,

"As a candidate, I am under no obligation to promote the zesty, robust taste of Doritos brand tortilla chips, regardless of how great a snack they may be for lunchtime, munch time, anytime."

"We hope the system will help keep terrorists out of the country, and also put at ease the minds of both the Japanese people and the foreigners who come here," said Takumi Sato of Japan's Immigration Bureau.

The new regime has some similarities with the US Visit system introduced in America after the 9/11 attacks.

But one major difference that has provoked concern is that foreign residents must be fingerprinted and photographed each time they re-enter Japan.

"It certainly doesn't make people who've been here for 30 or 40 years feel like they're even human beings basically," said Terrie Lloyd, a businessman with dual Australian and New Zealand citizenship and resident in Japan for 24 years.

"There has not been a single incident of foreign terrorism in Japan, and there have been plenty of Japanese terrorists."

Human rights group Amnesty International have condemned the new policy.

"Making only foreigners provide this data is discriminatory," said Sonoko Kawakami of Amnesty's Japanese branch.

"They are saying 'terrorist equals foreigner'. It's an exclusionary policy that could encourage xenophobia."

It is not clear yet how many will be affected, but it could be a high number -- Japan had over 8 million foreign entries in 2006, according to Sato.

One thing that is certain is that travellers to Japan can expect longer waits at airports when the system is introduced.

This is ironic as Japan's tourism agency is curently running a campaign to encourage visitors to the country.

Polling company Rasmussen Reports called voters and asked them to select their preferred candidate from a choice of Democrat Hillary Clinton, Republican Rudy Giuliani, and independent Colbert -- 13% went for Colbert.

When asked a similar question but substituting TV actor Fred Thompson for Giuliani, 12% of voters chose Colbert.

The poll reveals that it is young voters who gravitate towards Colbert -- the age group most likely to be viewers of his Comedy Central show.

When up against Giuliani and Clinton, Colbert attracted 28% of voters aged 18-29.

He polled 31% of voters aged 18-29 when pitted against Thompson and Clinton.

To put the result in context, an earlier survey found that only 8% of Americans would vote for comedian Jon Stewart in the current presidential race.

38% said that they would definitely vote against Stewart.

Stewart outperformed CBS news presenter Katie Couric -- 62% of American voters said that they would definitely vote against her.

Although the Colbert campaign is a joke, Rasmussen Reports should be taken seriously.

“In election campaigns, I’ve learned to look for the Rasmussen results," said Professor Larry Sabato of the University of Virginia.

"In my experience, they are right on the money.

"There is no question Rasmussen produces some of the most accurate and reliable polls in the country today.”

The hecklers infiltrated the audience of his live HBO chat show Real Time and began shouting out barely comprehensible slogans whilst Maher was chatting with guests.

Instead of having a witty put down to hand, he chose to swear at them, leaping from his seat to herd one out with the assistance of security.

"Do we have some fucking security in this building," Maher screamed, "or do I have to come down there and kick his ass?"

Maher pushed the heckler out of the studio, yelling 'Out! Out! Out!'

More protesters in the audience carried on the barracking.

"This isn't the Iowa Caucus, OK, we're not here to debate," Maher responded.

"This is the problem with live television."

Maher then explained to his guests that 9/11 conspiracy theorists or 'truthers' often loiter outside the stage door, hoping to interest him in their views.

He claimed that it was the only time that he defended Bush.

Maher's career has been bound up with 9/11 after controversy over remarks he made on his previous chat show for ABC, entitled Politically Incorrect.

Less than a week after the 2001 attacks, Maher said that the terrorists were not cowards.

"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away," he said.

"That's cowardly.

"Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."

As a result of the remarks, major advertisers withdrew their money from the show and it was cancelled by ABC in July 2002.

Since 2003, Maher has presented Real Time on HBO -- but he has carried on courting controversy with his outbursts on religion, animal rights, and feminism.

In May 2003, Maher appeared on a CBS chat show and made remarks that seemingly excused child molestation in the context of allegations surrounding Michael Jackson.

He stated to Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson that getting beaten up by schoolyard bullies was worse than 'being gently masturbated by a pop star.'

Ferguson immediately terminated the interview.

The process began with a recent column in the New York Times, when Colbert wrote: "I am not ready to announce yet -- even though it's clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative."

Colbert then appeared on another Comedy Central programme, The Daily Show, and cagily admitted that he was considering a run at the presidency.

But he was keen to point out that any final decision would be announced on a 'more prestigious show' -- which turned out to be his own.

"I shall seek the office of the president of the United States," he declared on Tuesday's Colbert Report as red, white and blue balloons fell around him.

Colbert will be running as both a Democrat and a Republican, stating that he can 'lose twice.'

He has chosed to run only in his home state of South Carolina.

"I am from South Carolina, I am for South Carolina," he said.

"I defy any other candidate to pander more to the people of South Carolina, those beautiful, beautiful people."

As for potential running mates, he stated that there were three possibilites: Colbert-Huckabee, Colbert-Putin or Colbert-Colbert.

CBS political analyst Jeff Greenfield was invited onto the show to give his feedback on Colbert's entry into the race.

"This is going to be one for the books," said Greenfield.

"This could be it for Mike Gravel."

"They not only seriously mislead consumers, harm the people's health, pollute the social environment, and corrupt social mores, but also directly harm the credibility of public broadcasting and affect the image of the Communist Party and the government," read the official notice implementing the ban.

The latest moves come after a recent clampdown on 'sexually suggestive' sounds on radio -- 11 shows recently disappeared from the airwaves due to their 'extreme pornographic nature.'

"Every television advertisement management bureau and television station must strengthen their political consciousness and responsibility towards society," said Tian Jin, deputy head of SARFT, the state regulator responsible for overseeing broadcast media.

This moral clampdown has come about as a result of an upcoming Communist Party congress that occurs every five years.

During the congress, a new set of senior leaders are expected to be appointed -- policies for the next five years will also be decided upon.

China's broadcasters are therefore being encouraged to create 'inspiring' programmes that exhibit 'socialist' values.

"Create a positive atmosphere for public opinion," advised Zhao Huayong, head of the state television service.

"Strictly adhere to propaganda requirements. Do not rush to report, do not report impulsively, and make sure there are no mistakes from reports on any large events."

"Venezuelan cinema for the world," Chavez announced during his weekly address to the people of Venezuela.

He went on to call the move a 'cultural revolution' -- an unfortunate choice of words considering what happened in China's past under that banner.

Chavez took aim at Hollywood, whose output is massively popular in Venezuela.

"They make us admire Superman, Spiderman," said Chavez.

The new studio -- named Cinema Villa -- will attempt to popularise heroes more conducive to the ideology of the socialist regime.

Cinema Villa is intended to bring about a 'transformation of the cultural hegemony,' according to studio head Lorena Almarza.

The first film released by the studio will be a biopic on the life of Francisco de Miranda, a hero of Venezuelan independence -- left-wing Hollywood actor Danny Glover appears in a supporting role.

Future productions include a movie about Luis Posada Carriles, a former CIA operative accused of masterminding an airplane bombing as well as an attempted assasination of Fidel Castro.

Chavez has argued for some time that the US should extradite Posada to Venezuela for trial on these charges.

"The film argues he should be condemned and returned here to Venezuela or to Cuba to be tried for his actions," said Eduardo Barberena, director of the upcoming film.

The new studio has been critcised already for 'putting political slogans above the quality of their productions' by Professor Antonio Pascuali of Venezuela's Central University

But Barbarena is keen to point out that his Posada biopic 'allows a bit of freedom for him to defend himself.'

Posada himself is unlikely to get that opportunity in a court.

After escaping from prison in 1985, he eventually made his way to the US.

Although he was tried for illegally entering the US, the charges were eventually dismissed.

On the matter of his extradition, a tribunal found that he should stay in the US as there was a reasonable expectation that he would be tortured in Cuba or Venezuela.

Tensions were heightened between the USSR and the US in the aftermath of the downing of flight 007 in September 1983.

A Korean Air Lines passenger jet flying from New York had strayed into Russian airspace.

After supposedly failing to identify itself, Soviet fighter jets shot down the plane and killed 269 civilians.

US President Ronald Reagan condemned the action as 'barbaric' and 'a crime against humanity that must never be forgotten.'

President Reagan had already annoyed the Soviets with his proposals for a missile defence system known as the Strategic Defence Initiative or 'Star Wars.'

"When President Reagan started this program, Soviet intelligence had already obtained information on the Star Wars program, and they were scared," said Oleg Kalugin, a former KGB general.

"They were convinced they would never be able to match the US program for purely financial reasons."

Tensions were further heightened in the aftermath of the 007 incident when the US banned the Russians from their airspace.

Soviet leader Yuri Andropov had been convinced for years that a nuclear attack by the US was imminent, a belief that was bolstered by Reagan's sabre rattling.

While he was head of the KGB, Andropov put his agents on high alert and warned them to expect action by the US -- in 1981, he had initiated covert operations in an attempt to determine America's intentions.

"We had some clandestine reports that suggested great alarm in Moscow," said Melvin Goodman, formerly a senior CIA analyst.

"But frankly they weren't taken very seriously by anyone but the analysts."

It was in this dangerous climate that lieutenant-colonel Stanislav Petrov worked.

On September 26th, he was the officer on duty at the Serpukhov-15 bunker near Moscow.

The facility was designated as an early warning station that would be used to launch nuclear attacks against Russia's enemies.

Just after midnight, Petrov received the computer report that would bring the world to the brink of destruction.

According to the recently installed monitoring system, a missile had been launched at the USSR from American airspace.

Russian military protocol dictated that Petrov should launch an all-out nuclear strike first, and only then inform his superiors who would then commit additional forces to the conflict.

Petrov's first instinct was that this was a computer error -- and he was doubtful that America would start World War III with a single missle.

"I had a funny feeling in my gut," said Petrov.

"I didn't want to make a mistake. I made a decision, and that was it."

Seconds later, another missile appeared. Then another. In all, five missiles were being tracked.

As the personnel in the bunker became agitated at the prospect of imminent nuclear war, Petrov kept a cool head -- surmising that five missiles still constituted a poor first strike.

He went with his instincts, knowing that the first missiles would be striking Moscow within minutes -- resolving his doubts definitively.

The minutes crawled by slowly until the realisation dawned on Petrov and his colleagues that this was indeed a glitch created by their early warning system.

Petrov's actions had averted an unnecessary nuclear conflict -- but his actions were far from appreciated by his superiors.

He had violated military protocols -- and the young and promising officer would pay with his career.

After a hostile investigation, Petrov was reassigned to a less sensitive role and ultimately took retirement early, succumbing to a nervous breakdown.

The man who saved the world now lives on a derisory pension of US$200 per month.

But the story may have a slightly more upbeat ending -- military secrecy meant that Petrov's actions only became public in 1998.

Since then, he has been the recipient of a number of awards and commendations -- and he will be the subject of a forthcoming documentary, entitled 'The Man Who Saved The World.'

For his part, Petrov is surprisingly modest about his pivotal role in preventing a global catastrophe.

"All that happened didn't matter to me -- it was my job." said Petrov.

"I was simply doing my job, and I was the right person at the right time, that's all.

"My late wife for 10 years knew nothing about it. 'So what did you do?' she asked me.

"I did nothing."

The series has riveted the nation, normally used to blander fare from the state-run television service.

"I wept when I learned through the film what a dreadful destiny the small nation had during the world war in the heart of so-called civilised Europe," said bank clerk Mahboubeh Rahamati.

The reaction is all the more surprising as the holocaust is little known amongst Iranians as it is not taught in schools -- President Ahmadinejad's sceptical comments were a rare instance of it entering the discourse of public life.

"Through this film, I understood that Jews had a hard time in the war -- helpless and desperate, as we were when Iraq imposed war on us," said Kazem Gharibi, owner of a grocery.

The series is based on the true story of Iranian diplomats based in Paris during World War Two -- they persuaded the Germans that up to 500 Jews were from Iran, issuing them passports that enabled them to escape the concentration camps.

A similar strategy was adopted by Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg, who is estimated to have rescued up to 15,000 Jews by issuing them with documents.

Iran has the largest Jewish community in the Middle East, numbering some 25,000 -- there is one Jewish member of parliament, in an otherwise Muslim theocracy.

The series could not have been made without the approval of religious hardliners -- and their supporters have used the series as an opportunity to subtly criticise the creation of Israel.

"The series differentiates between Jews and Zionism," according to the hardline newspaper Keyhan.

"The ground for forming Israel is prepared when Hitler's army puts pressure on activist Jews. In this sense, it considers Nazism parallel to Zionism."

The backdrop of the series may be based in history, but the dramatic action revolves around an old-fashioned love story -- a fictionalised romance between an Iranian embassy employee and a Jewish woman.

"I have watched the series from the beginning," said Sedigheh Karandish, housewife and mother of two.

"It's pulling me in to see what these two people do at the end. Hopefully, it will be a happy ending."

"In Afghanistan, 28 million people are free. They have their own president, they have their own parliament. Improved a lot on the streets -- that's been a big success," said Rumsfeld in a recent interview with GQ magazine.

He did concede however that the Iraqi administration 'has not been able to create an environment hospitable to whatever one wants to call their evolving way of life, a democracy or a representative system, or a freer system. And it's going to take some time and some effort."

The former Defence Secretary's tone was belligerent as he glossed over perceived failures to foster stability in countries such as Afghanistan and Iraq.

"In a very real sense, the American military cannot lose a battle, they cannot lose a war," he said.

"On the other hand, they can't win the struggle themselves. It requires diplomacy, it requires economic assistance, it requires a range of things that are well beyond the purview of the Department of Defense."

Rumsfeld had fond words for his former boss, claiming that President Bush 'is a lot more intelligent and curious than people give him credit for.'

When asked if he'd missed Bush, his reply was unambiguous.

"Um, no," he replied.

"RFID is a minor miracle, with all sorts of good uses," said Joe Simitian, state Senator for Palo Alto and proposer of the measure.

"But we shouldn't condone forced 'tagging' of humans. It's the ultimate invasion of privacy."

Only one firm has been authorised by the US government to sell RFID tags that can be implanted into humans.

Around 2,000 people have recieved implants from VeriChip, but it is not known how many were compelled to do so by an employer.

The only organisation known to have required employees to have implants is Cincinnati's CityWatcher.com, a video surveillance company -- without RFID chips, employees cannot work in their secure data centre.

In spite of such moves, opponents of the measure in the Senate questioned the necessity of banning mandatory implants.

"It sounded like it was a solution looking for a problem," said Bob Margett, state Senator for Arcadia.

"It didn't seem like it was necessary."

Now that the anti-RFID measure has been approved by the Senate, it is now dependent on the signature of California governor Arnold Schwarznegger.

Ironically, Schwarznegger once played a role in his past life as a Hollywood actor where his character discovered that he'd been implanted with a tracking device by his enemies.

Total Recall was released in 1990 -- it is sobering to think that less that 20 years later, such technology has gone from science fiction to science fact.

“You’re a white boy, and I don’t like white boys,” Pasternak said, quoting the words of his former manager Tommy E. Baines.

“Handle it.”

In a rare example of a successful 'reverse discrimination' lawsuit, Pasternak recently won US$150,000 in damages.

“I’m elated and overwhelmed,” Pasternal said after the award.

“I feel like I’ve been to hell and back. After all these years, the best feeling is, the jury heard his story and mine, and they believed me.”

A black colleague of Pasternak's also took the stand, supporting his claims of verbal abuse by Baines.

As well as the verbal slurs, Baines also removed documents from his desk and changed the locks on doors and filing cabinets that Pasternak needed to access.

The abuse resulted in insomnia, anxiety, and depression for Pasternak.

After several absences for medical reasons, his employers -- the state of New York -- dismissed him in 1999.

He now works on the railways, but it is clear that he regrets having to leave a job that helped underprivileged kids.

"Working with troubled youths was his passion,” said his lawyer David J. Seeger.

As well as his own discomfort, Pasternak also had concerns about the fact that Baines was working with children.

“When I was growing up, I was always taught to stay away from racial slurs,” Pasternak said.

“This kind of conduct, from a supervisor who worked with kids, really bothered me.”

The subtle threat came first from Xia Bin, Finance Chief at China’s Development Research Centre.

He commented that China's holdings of $900bn in mixed bonds could be a 'bargaining chip' in talks with the US.

"Of course, China doesn't want any undesirable phenomenon in the global financial order," he added.

These remarks were followed up by another official implying that it was in China's power to destablise the dollar.

"China has accumulated a large sum of US dollars," said He Fan of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences.

"Such a big sum, of which a considerable portion is in US treasury bonds, contributes a great deal to maintaining the position of the dollar as a reserve currency.

"The Chinese central bank will be forced to sell dollars once the yuan appreciated dramatically, which might lead to a mass depreciation of the dollar."

When asked about the remarks, President Bush expressed doubts that this was official Chinese policy -- but he took no chances and outlined his position clearly.

"That would be foolhardy of them to do that. If that's the position of the government, it would be foolhardy for them to do this," he said.

Henry Paulson, US Treasury Secretary, also expressed some cynicism about the provenance of the remarks, describing them as 'absurd.'

"We have tensions and we have to deal with tensions on both sides -- but overall, both of our countries are committed to a constructive economic relationships," Paulson said.

However, not everyone is sure that this is an empty threat.

“The words are alarming and unambiguous," said Simon Derrick, currency strategist at the Bank of New York Mellon.

"This carries a clear political threat and could have very serious consequences at a time when the credit markets are already afraid of contagion from the sub-prime [mortgage] troubles."

"I found myself Thursday watching President Bush's news conference and thinking about what it is about him, real or perceived, that makes people who used to smile at the mention of his name now grit their teeth," she said.

Distaste of the President is spreading, according to anonymous Republicans quoted by Noonan in her Wall Street Journal column.

'I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth,' one reportedly said.

Another quipped that he'd taken 'the W off my car today.'

Noonan's criticisms will carry weight as she was not only a special assistant and speechwriter for Reagan, but she also worked for George W's father when he was President.

She was the architect of such famous sound bites as 'a kinder, gentler nation,' 'a thousand points of light,' and 'read my lips -- no new taxes.'

One reason cited by Noonan for the growing enmity towards the President was his feelgood attitude in the face of serious problems facing his administration.

"He doesn't seem to be suffering, which is jarring," said Noonan.

"Presidents in great enterprises that are going badly suffer: Lincoln, LBJ with his head in his hands.

"Why doesn't Mr. Bush?

"Every major domestic initiative of his second term has been ill thought through and ended in failure.

"His Iraq leadership has failed.

"His standing is lower than any previous president's since polling began.

"He's in a good mood."

Noonan's ire extended to accusing the President of being 'irritating', 'unnatural', and 'weird':

"Americans...like the President to be the cool-eyed realist, the tough customer who understands harsh realities.

"With Mr. Bush it is the people who are forced to be cool-eyed and realistic.

"He's the one who goes off on the toots.

"This is extremely irritating, and also unnatural.

"Actually it's weird."

“The few corrupt officials of the SFDA are the shame of the whole system and their scandals have revealed some very serious problems,” said Yan Jiangying, spokeswoman for the state food regulator.

Zheng Xiaoyu accepted nearly half a million pounds in bribes from pharmaceutical companies to ensure that their defective products gained approval.

His punishment is seen as severe, even for a country as keen on the death penalty as China.

It is believed that the country executes more people than all other countries' practising capital punishment combined.

"Corrupt elements will be thoroughly investigated no matter who they are, how high their post, or how deep they hide, and there can be no appeasement or softness," according to the People's Daily, mouthpiece of the Chinese administration.

Zheng may have been sacrificed in order to appease criticism of China's safety record in food and medicine production.

A series of scandals have seen Chinese foodstuffs recalled due to toxic contamination, such as poisoned wheat gluten used in US pet food that resulted in deaths.

In one notorious incident, a batch of contaminated medicine exported to Panama caused several fatalities.

“We should seriously reflect and learn lessons from these cases. We should step up our efforts to ensure food and drug safety, which is what we are doing now and what we will do in the future,” said Yan.

The singer had flown into the country to play at Wembley as part of the Live Earth event.

Before he could leave the terminal, officials stopped him and detained him for questioning.

When they realised that Hetfield was a rock singer and not a potential terrorist, red-faced officials were forced to release him.

Friends of Hetfield believe that it was his 'Taleban' beard that caused problems for the singer.

Ironically, Hetfield was raised as a strict Christian Scientist by his devout parents.

His reservations about religion have been expressed in songs such as 'The God That Failed.'

Metallica are one of the most successful heavy metal bands, having sold over 90 million records worldwide.

The band, are currently on tour in advance of their new album, which is to be released towards the end of this year.

Although they were intitally rebuffed by the official registrar of births, negotiations have now commenced under a policy that states that all unusual names must be investigated on a case-by-case basis.

"The name has not at this stage been rejected," Registrar-General Brian Clarke said in a statement Thursday.

"We are currently in discussions with the parents to clarify the situation."

Clarke was keen to emphasise that the policy was designed to prevent names that were 'likely to cause offense to a reasonable person.'

Names already declined under the policy include Satan and Adolf Hitler.

The infant's father is unrepentant about the unorthodox choice of name.

Pat Wharton and his wife Sheena alighted upon the name after an early ultrasound scan made them confront the reality of the impending birth.

"For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to look it up in a babies book and there's no direct link between the meaning and the name," he said.

New Zealand law requires the name of a newborn to be registered within two months.

If no compromise can be reached, the baby will be named 'Real'.

"The accused undertook these actions to grant liquidity to clients who, in his view, were short of money and who no longer got loans under the usual money market conditions," said a statement issued by the court after his conviction.

The banker, identified only as Dragan V in court, soon lost track of where the money had come from and where it was going.

He confessed all in 2006 when the local media had begun investigating the account irregularities created by his haphazard approach to fraud.

After cooperating with the authorities, around three quarters of the money was recovered by the bank.

It also emerged during his trial that the banker had not sought to financially gain from the scheme.

He was sentenced to three years in prison, no doubt escaping a harsher punishment due to his admission of guilt and level of cooperation with investigators.

Giving testimony in court, Dragan V was explicit about his motivation for committing fraud:

"I felt sympathy for the unemployed and the socially disadvantaged and wanted to help them."

Jayna Hutchinson fell foul of the law when she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Police had been called to a New Hampshire market when a disagreement turned into a pack of trouble.

Hutchinson was an eyewitness to a fight and was asked to make a statement -- despite being drunk at the time.

After a heated debate with Todd Protzman, a sergeant with the Vermont state police, she went over to the officer's vehicle.

Inside was the dog in question. Hutchinson proceeded to make faces at the dog and stare.

According to Protzman's affidavit, she stared at the dog 'in a taunting/harassing manner'.

As well as being arrested for the canine infraction, Hutchinson was also charged with resisting arrest because she pulled away from the officers attempting to detain her.

"Prosecuting a woman for 'staring' at a police dog is absurd," said public defender Kelly Green, representing Hutchinson.

"People are allowed to make faces at police dogs and officers to express their disapproval. It's constitutional expression."

The prosecutors have now dropped all charges in this unusual case.

"I think it was going to be difficult to prove her conduct changed the dog's behaviour," said Will Porter, prosecuting state attorney for Orange County.

"Most of the time people would come tell the court what it felt like. Dogs can't do that."

The move to close RCTV -- Venezuela's oldest broadcaster -- has been condemned by the US Senate and the EU Parliament.

"This has exposed the abusive, arbitrary and autocratic nature of Chavez's government, a government that fears free thought, that fears opinion and fears criticism," said Marcel Granier, head of RCTV.

Opinion polls found nearly 70% of Venezuelans opposed the closure -- but most respondents were more worried about the loss of their favourite soap operas than freedom of expression.

But there is no sympathy for the closure from Chavez's supporters, who see the opposition channels as complicit in the attempted coup against their leader.

"They all participated in the coup and incited violence," said Chavez loyalist and shopkeeper Jose Quijada.

But the campaign against Chavez is continuing as online as activists lobby the world to end what they see as a damaging form of totalitarianism.

'The world needs to know. Only you guys abroad can help us spread the word," said anonymous activist 'Anonimo'.

"Chavez spends hundreds of millions of dollars lobbying around the world with goverments and earning many [sic] international support at the expense of our taxes, natural resources, and freedoms.

"Many of us are scared, but we are willing to do something about it."

We live in a time when the mainstream media in America are too corrupt to pass comment on the deteriorating nature of politics in that country.

So it was left to a tiny bird in the right place at the right time to speak for millions of disenfranchised voters.

Bush was taking questions over the scandals involving Attorney General Gonzales.

In a Pavlovian response from the sparrow overhead, the miasma of shit emanating from Bush as he spoke provoked a defecatory response.

It was when Bush said 'I've got confidence in Al Gonzales doin' the job,' that the bird was provoked.

As that verbal turd fell from his lips, the avian avenger unleashed a cloacal missive.

One small turd for a bird, but one giant leap for American political discourse.

The drone is three feet wide and weighs a mere two pounds, even though it sports an array of CCTY cameras.

"Our drone will be used primarily to support our anti-social behaviour taskforce AXIS, in gathering all important evidence to put offenders before the courts," said Merseyside's assistant chief constable Simon Byrne.

"For us, this is a cost-effective way of helping to catch criminals and supports similar technology we're already using in our vans and helicopter."

The drones can be operated by remote control or can follow a pre-programmed route guided by GPS satellites.

It is virtually silent and can be outfitted with night vision cameras.

Images can be sent to a control room or directly to a vehicle.

The trial is being assisted by the Police, Crime and Standards Directorate.

"We are pleased to support Merseyside Police in their efforts to reduce crime through the use of new technology," Stephen Cahill, deputy director of the Directorate said.

"This trial is the first of its kind in the country and we're excited about its potential."

Elizabeth Kucinich, 31, towers over her diminutive husband, left-wing congressman and presidential candiate Dennis Kucinich.

“Who cares?” she said.

“I like wearing high heels so I’m used to being taller than most men I stand next to.”

The prospective First Lady is also unfazed by the age difference between her and her 60-year-old spouse.

“I have never noticed it at all. Dennis is a very mature but young
at heart gentleman and we complement each other.”

She met Kucinich two years ago when she visited his office in her capacity as a volunteer worker for the American Monetary Institute, a group dedicated to reforming the 'unjust monetary system'.

The attraction was mutual, and Dennis Kucinich phoned a friend immediately to say he'd met his future wife.

“I knew at once I really wanted to marry this man. When you know it, why hang around?”

Elizabeth was brought up by her mother, who is heavily involved in the new age movement -- and these values were passed on to her daughter.

But for all her non-conformism, she has royalist sympathies -- which may not go down well with Americans who are proud of their republic.

“I have great respect for the royal family because of their dedication to public service,” she said after meeting the Queen at an official function.

She was also deeply affected by the death of Princess Diana.

“I was in shock for a very long time. She held an incredible position in my heart. I was devastated. There hasn’t been anyone able to bring that compassion back into public life.”

He said that during his time in office he had been served coffee by a 'born-and-bred Londoner' only once.

"Everybody else has come from abroad," he added.

Mayor Livingstone claimed that Britons were losing jobs to Poles and other immigrants who have a good work ethic and better skills -- alhough the Mayor failed to mention that such workers are often prepared to work for less.

"What we have got is a mismatch," he said during his annual State of London speech.

"People have been left so far behind they get sacked from jobs because they turn up late.

"They have grown up their entire life in a house where nobody gets up before midday. We have got to tackle this, otherwise a generation is going to be left behind."

Mayor Livingstone also placed the blamed firmly on careers advisers failing to serve young people correctly:

"Our early studies show a backward thinking of people in careers advice. They see a young girl coming through the door and think caring, teaching, nursing. This is ridiculous."

A masked man robbed an petrol station wielding an AK-47 assault rifle, stealing US $75 and 400 cigarettes.

In his haste to leave, the robber left a gun case containing a receipt for the rifle with his name and address on it.

The receipt was made out to one Eric Cunningham, who lives only a few miles from the petrol station.

Officers arrested Cunningham, 18, at his apartment where they found a loaded assault rifle and a shotgun.

Cunningham was arrested and charged with armed robbery with a firearm while masked.

He is currently languishing in prison whilst awaiting trial.

“Obviously, he wasn’t a member of the Mensa society,” said police spokeswoman Susan Soto.

The company is guilty of 'an act of corporate irresponsibility', according to Morton Sklar, executive director of World Organization for Human Rights USA, one of the groups behind the lawsuit.

"Yahoo had reason to know that if they provided China with identification information that those individuals would be arrested."

The lawsuit, filed under the Alien Tort Claims Act and the Torture Victims Protection Act, is believed to be the first ever against an Internet company for its activities in China.

Wang Xiaoning, his wife, Yu Ling and other unnamed defendants seek damages and an injunction barring Yahoo from identifying dissidents to Chinese authorities.

“Companies doing business in China are forced to comply with Chinese law,” said Jim Cullinan, a Yahoo spokesman.

“Yahoo China will not know whether the demand for information is for a legitimate criminal investigation or is going to be used to prosecute political dissidents.”

The company's stance infuriates Yu Ling, one of the plaintiffs involved in the lawsuit.

"The Yahoo company didn't even say sorry," she said.

"They think they haven't done anything wrong."

Hempfield Area High School received a hoax bomb threat on a student hotline at 3:17am and discovered a call had been made at that time by student Cody Webb.

Webb, by all accounts a well-behaved student, had actually made his call an hour before the bomb threat was placed.

But school officials investigating failed to realise that the call records used to accuse Webb were out by an hour.

After he protested his innocence, Webb claims that the school's principal said: "Well, why should we believe you? You're a criminal. Criminals lie all the time."

The Police then arrested Webb and he spent 12 days in a juvenile detention facility before the school eventually realised their mistake.

Tim Andrews, the lawyer representing Webb, explained: "The district attorney subpoenaed the cell phone records, and it didn't take more than a minute to see the times didn't match."

Webb was finally released when a state trooper failed to show up at a hearing.

Andrews added that "the boy's family is considering a law suit against the school district or police for false arrest."

"The middle classes could become a revolutionary class, taking the role envisaged for the proletariat by Marx," says the report.

This theory is based on the growing gap between the wealthy on one hand and an urban underclass threatening social order.

"The world's middle classes might unite, using access to knowledge, resources and skills to shape transnational processes in their own class interest."

Marxism may also be revived because of global inequalities.

The long term trend towards moral relativism and pragmatic values will encourage people to seek the 'sanctuary provided by more rigid belief systems, including religious orthodoxy and doctrinaire political ideologies, such as popularism and Marxism.'

The report also outlines other future threats, including neutron weapons that kill people but leave buildings intact, unmanned weapons platforms in space, and brain implants that could control behaviour and turn people into unwilling weapons.

Rear Admiral Chris Parry, head of the MOD's Development, Concepts and Doctrine Centre responsible for the report, describes the assessments as 'probability-based, rather than predictive.'

A crew from ITN were shooting a documentary about the murder of Asian teenager Zahid Mubarek when the footage was shot.

Furious Home Office chiefs sent ITN a bill for the replacement locks and keys.

But it refused to pay and instead offered £10,000 to settle the case.

As a result, the Home Office has now begun legal proceedings.

All journalists sign an agreement upon entering a jail which specifies that images of locks or keys must not be published.

It is possible for skilled locksmiths to make duplicate keys from detailed source material such as a close-up shot.

A Home Office spokeswoman said: "We can confirm the Home Office has taken out legal proceedings against ITN to recover costs for the relock at Feltham young offenders institution in June 2006."

An ITN spokeswoman said: "The matter is ongoing and we don't think it's appropriate to comment any further at this stage."

The 100 kilo sculpture titled 'My Sweet Lord' features Christ crucified -- although there is no chocolate cross.

Unlike typical religious portrayals of Christ, the artwork does not include a loincloth.

The Lab Gallery in Manhattan and their hosts the Roger Smith Hotel were swamped with angry phone calls and e-mails, including death threats.

"In this situation, the hotel couldn't continue to be supportive because of a fear for their own safety," Semler said.

The Catholic League sent e-mails to 500 religious groups -- including Protestant, Jewish, Muslim and Buddhist -- with a combined reach of millions, asking them to protest the artwork.

"All those involved are lucky that angry Christians don't react the way extremist Muslims do when they're offended," said Bill Donahue, president of the Catholic League.

The sculptor Cosimo Cavallaro, an Italian immigrant who was raised a Catholic, insists that the unfortunate timing of the exhibition was coincidental.

"The choice of Easter was that there was availability in the gallery now," he said.

“I, over the years, have taken a very strong stand on drug issues," said Bob Barr, formerly a congressman in a district of Atlanta, Georgia.

"But in light of the tremendous growth of government power since 9/11, it has forced me and other conservatives to go back and take a renewed look at how big and powerful we want the government to be in people’s lives."

Barr is now a lobbyist for the Marijuana Policy Project, where his duties will include pushing for repeal of his own 'Barr amendment' which overruled a local referendum in Washington DC that would have allowed medical cannabis use.

"We're working together pretty closely right now," said Aaron Houston of the Marijuana Policy Project.

"He brings a great deal of credibility and a lot of gravitas to the cause. We hope he serves as an example to some of his former colleagues, particularly on the GOP side of the aisle."

Trump spared nothing as he laid into Bush over issues ranging from Iraq to his media diet.

"He reads 60 books a year. He reads a book a week. Do you think the president reads a book a week? I don't think so.

"He doesn't watch television. Now, one thing I know is when I'm on television, I watch, or I try. You do. Your own ego says, let's watch. Whether good or bad, you want to watch.

"He doesn't watch television. He's on television being interviewed by you or someone else, he doesn't watch. Does anyone really believe that?"

Trump also took aim at Vice President Dick Cheney and accused him of deluding the public into believing that the Iraq situation had really improved.

"I don't know if they're bad people. I don't know what's going on. I just know they got us into a mess, the likes of which this country has probably never seen," Trump said. "It's one of the great catastrophes of all time."

Asked whether he was considering a bid to succeed President Bush, Trump said he was 'not interested in running.'

But he did admit that "it would certainly be fun. It would certainly be interesting."

More than 500 people, many of them foreigners, have been arrested since the riots started.

Violent clashes have seen demonstrators pelting police with cobblestones and setting cars on fire.

"This is a display of anger and rage after more than seven years of struggle to keep what is ours," said Jan, a 22-year-old activist who has been going to the building for the last decade.

The riots began when anti-terrorism police evicted the squatters three days ago. Built in 1897, it was originally a socialist community centre -- Vladimir Lenin was among its visitors.

Squatters took over the building in 1982 and turned into a community centre for anarchists. In recent times, it has played host to the likes of Nick Cave and Bjork.

The building was sold in 2000 by the council to a Christian organisation. Previous protests against the planned eviction were also violent - one demonstration last year resulted in the arrests of 300 people.

"The spoiled kids in the Youth House woke up to reality in Danish society where you have a job and pay rent," said Anders Fredrik Mihle of the ruling Liberal Party's youth wing.

A guerilla marketing campaign by the channel deployed dozens of circuit boards with blinking LEDs showing a crude cartoon character making an offensive gesture.

Although the devices were planted in ten cities, the reaction in Boston was worst by far. Police closed bridges and sent in the bomb squad to defuse the perceived threat. One device was destroyed in a controlled explosion.

The small signs had apparently been up nearly three weeks in the town before calls to authorities last week caused the panicked response.

Two men paid to place the devices in Boston have pleaded not guilty to placing a hoax device and disorderly conduct. Peter Berdovsky, 27, Sean Stevens, 28, are currently free on bail.

Cartoon Network owner Turner Broadcasting and the Interference advertising agency responsible for the campaign agreed to pay $2 million in fines to the various agencies inconvenienced.

"I hope that the entire guerilla marketing industry learned something from this event," Boston Mayor Thomas Menino said.

Only a quarter of the 26,000 respondents polled in 25 countries approve of American policy toward Iraq.

More than two-thirds believe that the US presence in the Middle East does more harm than good.

Nearly half of those polled in Europe, Africa, Asia, South America and the Middle East said America now plays a mostly negative role in the world.

"It's been a horrible slide," said Doug Miller, president of GlobeScan, the international polling company that carried out the poll in conjunction with Program on International Policy Attitudes for the BBC.

"If this keeps up, it's going to be very difficult for the United States to exercise its moral suasion in the world," Miller concluded.

GlobalScan's conclusions are that positive views of American foreign policy have steadily declined since the poll's inception two years ago.

"I thought it had bottomed out a year ago, but it's gotten worse, and we really are at historic lows," said Steven Kull, director of the Program on International Policy Attitudes.

"The thing that comes up repeatedly is not just anger about Iraq," Kull added. "The common theme is hypocrisy. The reaction tends to be: 'You were a champion of a certain set of rules. Now you are breaking your own rules, so you are being hypocritical.' "

The politician was referring to a book entitled 'Rise of the Vulcans', about the Bush administration and its' policy advisors.

Wu noted that the White House advisers are ideologues, unlike the Vulcans of Star Trek, "who made their decisions based on logic and fact." Wu went on to say that there are Klingons in the White House. But unlike real Klingons, Wu said, those in the White House "have never fought a battle of their own."

Wu concluded: "Don't let faux Klingons send real Americans to war."

Although the reference to Star Trek went down poorly with right-wingers such as Rush Limbaugh, it was warmly recieved by Judith Barad, a philosophy professor at Indiana State University and author of the book The Ethics of Star Trek.

"It might sound silly to people who loathe Star Trek or are indifferent to it, but I do think science fiction is a good way for society to get a better perspective and to learn what to do in a moral predicament," Barad said.

"We could see the role of leaders reflected in Star Trek characters."

She noted that "Klingons look out for each other, and it certainly doesn't seem like the president is looking out for our troops."

Instead she believes that Wu should have compared the Bush administration to the Cardassians, a militaristic race who occupied the planet Bajor and "were not as concerned with honour as the Klingons were."

Along with the 'paper or plastic' sign, there are two others - one which is the Arab version of “I’m a little teapot” and the other roughly translating as 'rock, paper, scissors'. Accompanying the translations at the bottom of the posters are comments such as, 'Misunderstanding can make anything scary,' and 'What did you think it said?'

The signs are part of a campaign by the Virginia Interfaith Centre, designed to dispel public misgivings about Muslims. Organisers hope to eventually expand the program throughout VIrginia.

Program director Gretchen Schoel said history shows that Americans can let go of irrational fears toward other cultures. “After World War II, when people saw Japanese script it was scary,” she says. “But now we see it and it’s fun, it’s hip, it signifies a cool culture.”

“That’s a huge turnaround.”

Sources close to the incident allege that the warhead nearly detonated in 2005 due to an unsafe amount of pressure being applied while it was being disassembled.

An spokesperson for the Project on Government Oversight said that the weapon involved was a W-56 warhead with 100 times the destructive power of the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima.

The group claims that the problem was caused in part by technicians at the plant being required to work up to 72 hours each week.

They released an anonymous letter, reportedly sent by employees, warning that long hours and efforts to increase output were causing dangerous conditions at the plant.

A spokesperson for the Energy Department declined to comment.

Although politically right-wing, Trump has been a frequent critic of the Bush administration. This latest broadside came during a keynote address at the Learning Annex Real Estate & Wealth Expo at the Javits Centre in New York. Outgoing Defence Secretary and namesake Donald Rumsfeld also got a taste of Trump's ire.

"You look at Rumsfeld and we spend $900 million a year, and arms and legs and lives are wasted," Trump said. "You look at all this and you ask what kind of government is this?"

Trump went on to emphasize that his intention was not to bash the White House, but added, "If you don't have smart people running the government, then good entrepreneurship will get you nowhere."

His comments were met mainly with cheers, although praise for his sentiments was not universal.

"It sounds like he's running for president," said attendee Steve Felt, "I was expecting the speech to be about how to get wealthy. I didn't expect a conservative like Trump to talk poorly about a conservative government."

Now the Home Office is funding more pilot schemes around the country. "The Home Office have looked at our system and are looking at trials in other towns including Coventry, Hull & Sheffield," said Julia Bradburn of South Somerset District Council.

The Home Office meanwhile denies that it is funding the roll-out of a national fingerprinting network. They insist the decisions how the money was spent were taken at the local level.

Below is the message from one of the participants sponsored by Bubble Jam, Shaf da Bass (best known for his hard dance antics - promoting and DJing at Oblivion and Logic)

"The conflict between Israel and Palestine is steadily getting worse. The people suffering the most are the innocent civilians living on both sides of the fence whether Palestinian, Israeli, Muslim, Jewish or even Jewish Palestinian (yes they do exist!), most want a just and lasting peace so they can live normal and equal lives.
Myself and a group of like minded cyclists will be embarking on a journey of a life time in the hope that we can do something, anything, in order to try to change the situation – even if it is just raising awareness of how serious and urgent it now is.
On August 6th 2006 we will be departing from Embankment Gardens in Central London and passing through France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Syria, Jordan, Israel and Palestine."

read more on Shaf da Bass site

The Peace Cycle

Now, there’s nothing personal about this letter. I only want to help: I’m not even a crank or an 80 year-old anti-war protester disagreeing with your policies. It’s just that I’ve paid the VAT and tax on the beer that I plan to calm-down on whilst typing this letter, and theoretically, that means I’ve already helped pay for your air-tickets. In my own insignificant way, I’m a shareholder in you - by extension, every jobless British drinker is - and it gives me a warm glow deep inside just knowing that fact. And I hope it does the same for you. But I have to admit; my blood did run as cold as a helium vodkatini when I heard that open-mike jam you did with the President the other day:

“Yo, Blair!” Yo, Blair???

“Mi been checkin’ ya television tonite: bredrin’, you wuz bear bumming dat Bushman t’ing!” - isn’t that more like how The Kids are supposed to talk these days? - that George friend of yours sounds like some kind of mid-80’s Mall-Rat. What sort of signal do you think that sends, now that the rockets are flying and millions look to you for some sort of manly guidance? And by the way: you stood there and took that insult off George Bush? You’re supposed to be representing us as a Nation! All 56 million potential screaming targets - remember?

Anthony, mate, that finger-snap was a bad diss and one serious credibility cock-up in front of the entire planet; and what kind of Gang Name is “Blair”, anyway? - latest member of the X-Men? WWF tag-team? Either give the job up, mate, or change your PR person and youth-slang dictionary: what that sucker MC actually said was that he thinks that your rhymes were wack. He made you look like you were his pee-wee runner (and would probably be his prison bee-yatch too, if you ever got banged-up together for war-crimes), and yet you took it with a smile... He’d leave you holding the bags thinking they were sweeties, that’s for certain. He mugged you off with that snap of the finger! And us, too.

But I’m not writing this to talk about off-the-cuff knitwear-talk between Gang Buddies: I’d like to share my thoughts with you regarding your public reaction to the Lebanon crisis. Congratulations, Tony - it was a pure, Blair, classic! You surpassed yourself this performance darling; You shone. As do many fishy products, when they get near their sell-by date - if that was your political Apotheosis, then I can only thank you for your unexpected gift of honesty. It was almost physically painful.

I have never seen anything that even came close to that performance you did with George Bush earlier today as Hizbollah carried on rocketing hapless Israeli Arabs while Israel retaliated by laser-bombing loads of conveniently-forgotten Maronite Christians: talk about a World Crisis - it is, if you live in London. When you went running up those aeroplane stairs like the first sane man out of Sarajevo, it really looked as if you had something useful to impart to a distinctly jumpy world. Alas, like so many other of your previous well-intentioned drives and initiatives, it ended up actually achieving nothing but yet more footage of you smiling fixedly into the cameras while telling us that everything’s Going Really Well: you’ve got to stop doing that, Tony - it’s giving us the creeps, now that so many people are dying every day.

Nixon telling a stunned nation that He Was Not a Crook or Clinton looking the camera straight in the eye and denying those gobble-allegations were just basic, grey-line peccadilloes compared with your say-nothing defence on Lebanon - Dick and Bill were only doing their jobs by flatly-denying those tapes and tadpole-traces: you, on the other hand, were staying deliberately stumm while helpless babes and UN observers were getting spread all over the landscape, as you spoke, on every news channel on the planet.

You could at least have had the basic decency to suggest that, you know, maybe tentative immediate cease-fires weren’t such a poor option when it comes to targeting pressing humanitarian issues - but, no. You didn’t. I think the abject implication of your silence is going to take the next few months to sink in... I still can’t quite believe what I saw: It wasn’t what you did - or rather didn’t - do during that press-call, more like the way you did it. It was horrible to watch. Are you sure you’re not the Antichrist, Tony? Surely no ordinary mortal could have that amount of Front, and still expect to claim any kind of moral authority over his constituents afterwards. It was awesome.

It wasn’t so much the politics that shocked or disturbed me - they were as blatantly obvious and up-front as The Sooty Show, and it wasn’t too hard to work out why Bush was grimacing almost as badly as you were every time he had to speak his lines - but the presentation of the show that weirded the fuck out me. To be honest with you Tony, I think you’ve got a bit of an Image problem these days: you really don’t inspire “your people” with too much confidance when you Stand Up There - in fact you’re beginning to frighten the crap out of them. I know image is what you do best, but it really doesn’t seem to be working for you at the moment, especially now that you actually have to do something.

It’s bad enough having all those Hard Kids from the Estate spreading rumours that you’re George’s “special little joey”, but when, every time you get back together with him on Telly you start going all shy and gooey and doing everything he says... well, there’s a phrase for it in the Philippines, but it’s too graphic to print in a fashionable webzine like this one. At least try and look as if you’ve got some cojones! A word of free fashion advice, too - Please: stop smiling! And the next time he snaps his fingers at you, threaten to “jook him up bad-style in front of the cameras for doin’ dat” - imagine his face if you said it! You’d get through to The Kids then. You’d get ‘nuff respect.

Even a word or two of mild warning directed at you-know-whom would have been enough to raise a Moderate cheer back home - taking the microphone off Bush, MC style, and THEN threatening to “mash-up both-a dem fightin’ baaackside” for “fuckin’ with mi runnings ‘fore Caarnival” would have bought the roof down... But you blew the chance, forever. A pity; you could have been really popular again, just like back in ‘97 - but it’s probably too late for that now unless this war seriously starts crossing borders and it comes down to a toss-up between you or Gordon from your school as Head Monitor. Hmmm...

No. That was an unworthy thought from me. I realise you’ve been under a lot of strain, and that I should stop being such a negative person and try and look on the bright side of your domestic and middle-eastern policies; I empathise with your hurt. But the thing is, Tony, you only ever seem to start acting dangerously like this when you’re around that George Bush kid. He seems to bring out the worst in you - I think he encourages you, somehow. I know that it’s a good - and even honourable - thing to “hang” shoulder-to-shoulder with your friends on the Street, especially when they’re down-on-their-luck and don’t seem to have any other mates to “run t’ings” down the Mall with them, but, please, think - that George boy could get you in serious trouble: surely the police have been called out to your school enough times lately... Didn’t what happened to Johnny Prescott teach you anything about human nature?

You have to realise, Tony, that George Bush means real business when he jokes about causing trouble with the other older boys outside school; I think you’re getting way out of your depth when you’re out with him, and I’m not the only person who’s been saying that - he’s been seen doing deals with some very unstable and dangerous people. The thing you have to remember, Tony, is that George can afford to take these stupid risks - he’s got nothing to lose, compared with you. He comes from a very large family who live down in the trailer-park, they all own guns, and they can always form a circle and look after themselves if any of the people George has annoyed come looking for him in the middle of the night: people disappear out there in Texas. Now you can’t really do that in a Semi in Islington, if George has annoyed the people downstairs, can you? Do you see my point?

So, unless you come right out and say, ‘So what? - I live in a ****ing bunker, motherf**ker! And so do all my Crew!’ and start throwing your arm around George’s shoulders and telling the cameras that you always, deep down, wanted to be a Gangster, and “how much you love and respect this guy!” every time you meet, I’d ease-off a little with the Holier than Thou bit when you’re away from him: Saddam must be laughing his loose, floppy, pants off. And that can’t be right.

©2006 REVSVEN

Pics courtesy of ActionAid

"The proposed ID Card will be different from any card you now hold. It will be connected to a database called the NIR, (National Identity Register)., where all of your personal details will be stored. This will include the unique number that will be issued to you, your fingerprints, a scan of the back of your eye (this requirement has been dropped due to technical ability to implement it thus making supposedly unique ID cards as safe as your credite card. ed. editor), and your photograph. Your name, address and date of birth will also obviously be stored there. There will be spaces on this database for your religion, residence status, and many other private and personal facts about you.

There is unlimited space for every other details of your life on the NIR database, which can be expanded by the Government with or without further Acts of Parliament. By itself, you might think that this register is harmless, but you would be wrong to come to this conclusion.

This new card will be used to check your identity against your entry in the register in real time, whenever you present it to 'prove who you are'. Every place that sells alcohol or cigarettes, every post office, every pharmacy, and every Bank will have an NIR Card Terminal, (very much like the Chip and Pin Readers that are everywhere now) into which your card can be 'swiped' to check your identity. Each time this happens, a record is made at the NIR of the time and place that the Card was presented. This means for example, that there will be a government record of every time you withdraw more than £99 at your branch of Nat West, who now demand ID for these transactions. Every time you have to prove that you are over 18, your card will be swiped, and a record made at the NIR. Restaurants and off licenses will demand that your card is swiped so that each receipt shows that they sold alcohol to someone over 18, and that this was proved by the access to the NIR, indemnifying them from prosecution. Private businesses are going to be given access to the NIR Database. If you want to apply for a job, you will have to present your card for a swipe. If you want to apply for a London Underground Oyster Card, or a supermarket loyalty card, or a driving license, you will have to present your ID Card for a swipe.

The same goes for getting a telephone line or a mobile phone or an internet account. Oyster, DVLA, BT and Nectar (for example) all run very detailed databases of their own. They will be allowed access to the NIR, just as every other business will be. This means that each of these entities will be able to store your unique number in their database, and place all your travel, phone records, driving activities and detailed shopping habits under your unique NIR number. These databases, which can easily fit on a storage device the size of your hand, will be sold to third parties either legally or illegally. It will then be possible for a non governmental entity to create a detailed dossier of all your activities. Certainly, the government will have clandestine access to all of them, meaning that they will have a complete record of all your movements, from how much and when you withdraw from your bank account to what medications you are taking, down to the level of what sort of bread you eat - all accessible via a single unique number in a central database. This is quite a significant leap from a simple ID Card that shows your name and face.

Most people do not know that this is the true character and scope of the proposed ID Card. Whenever the details of how it will work are explained to them, they quickly change from being ambivalent towards it. The Government is going to compel you to enter your details into the NIR and to carry this card. If you and your children want to obtain or renew your passports, you will be forced to have your fingerprints taken and your eyes scanned for the NIR, and an ID Card will be issued to you whether you want one or not. If you refuse to be fingerprinted and eye scanned, you will not be able to get a passport.
Your ID Card will, just like your passport, not be your property. The Home Secretary will have the right to revoke or suspend your ID at any time, meaning that you will not be able to withdraw money from your Bank Account, for example, or do anything that requires you to present your government issued ID Card. The arguments that have been put forwarded in favor of ID Cards can be easily disproved. ID Cards will not stop terrorists; every Spaniard has a compulsory ID Card as did the Madrid Bombers. ID Cards will not eliminate 'benefit fraud', which in any case, is small compared to the astronomical cost of this proposal, which will be measured in billions according to the LSE. This scheme exists solely to exert total surveillance and control over the ordinary free British Citizen, and it will line the pockets of the companies that will create the computer systems at the expense of your freedom, privacy and money.

If you did not know the full scope of the proposed ID Card Scheme before and you are as unsettled as I am at what it really means to you, to this country and its way of life, I urge you to email or photocopy this and give it to your friends and colleagues.

The Bill has proceeded to this stage due to the lack of accurate and complete information on this proposal being made public. Hand to hand, we can inform the entire nation if everyone who receives this passes it on."

Further reading

original link
Government refuses public vote on compulsory ID
Say No to ID Cards
Play and dance to the ID tune
This ID project is even more sinister than we first thought
Info wars
Spy blog - highly recommended!

But don't kid yourself - Bush and his co-conspirator, Dick Cheney, accomplished exactly what they set out to do. In case you've forgotten what their real mission was, let me remind you of White House spokesman Ari Fleisher's original announcement, three years ago, launching of what he called,

"Operation
Iraqi
Liberation."

O.I.L. How droll of them, how cute. Then, Karl Rove made the giggling boys in the White House change it to "OIF" - Operation Iraqi Freedom. But the 101st Airborne wasn't sent to Basra to get its hands on Iraq's OIF.

"It's about oil," Robert Ebel told me. Who is Ebel? Formerly the CIA's top oil analyst, he was sent by the Pentagon, about a month before the invasion, to a secret confab in London with Saddam's former oil minister to finalize the plans for "liberating" Iraq's oil industry.
In London, Bush's emissary Ebel also instructed Ibrahim Bahr al-Ulum, the man the Pentagon would choose as post-OIF oil minister for Iraq, on the correct method of disposing Iraq's crude.

And what did the USA want Iraq to do with Iraq's oil? The answer will surprise many of you: and it is uglier, more twisted, devilish and devious than anything imagined by the most conspiracy-addicted blogger. The answer can be found in a 323-page plan for Iraq's oil secretly drafted by the State Department. Our team got a hold of a copy; how, doesn't matter. The key thing is what's inside this thick Bush diktat: a directive to Iraqis to maintain a state oil company that will "enhance its relationship with OPEC."

Enhance its relationship with OPEC??? How strange: the government of the United States ordering Iraq to support the very OPEC oil cartel which is strangling our nation with outrageously high prices for crude.

Specifically, the system ordered up by the Bush cabal would keep a lid on Iraq's oil production - limiting Iraq's oil pumping to the tight quota set by Saudi Arabia and the OPEC cartel.

There you have it. Yes, Bush went in for the oil - not to get MORE of Iraq's oil, but to prevent Iraq producing TOO MUCH of it.

You must keep in mind who paid for George's ranch and Dick's bunker: Big Oil. And Big Oil and their buck-buddies, the Saudis -don't make money from pumping more oil, but from pumping LESS of it. The lower the supply, the higher the price.

It's Economics 101. The oil industry is run by a cartel, OPEC, and what economists call an "oligopoly" - a tiny handful of operators who make more money when there's less oil, not more of it. So, every time the "insurgents" blow up a pipeline in Basra, every time Mad Mahmoud in Tehran threatens to cut supply, the price of oil leaps. And Dick and George just LOVE it.

Dick and George didn't want more oil from Iraq, they wanted less. I know some of you, no matter what I write, insist that our President and his Veep are on the hunt for more crude so you can cheaply fill your family Hummer; that somehow, these two oil-patch babies are concerned that the price of gas in the USA is bumping up to $3 a gallon.

No so, gentle souls. Three bucks a gallon in the States (and a quid a litre in Britain) means colossal profits for Big Oil, and that makes Dick's ticker go pitty-pat with joy. The top oily-gopolists, the five largest oil companies, pulled in $113 billion in profit in 2005 - compared to a piddly $34 billion in 2002 before Operation Iraqi Liberation. In other words, it's been a good war for Big Oil.

As per Plan Bush, Bahr Al-Ulum became Iraq's occupation oil minister; the conquered nation "enhanced its relationship with OPEC;" and the price of oil, from Clinton peace-time to Bush war-time, shot up 317%.

In other words, on the third anniversary of invasion, we can say the attack and occupation is, indeed, a Mission Accomplished. However, it wasn't America's mission, nor the Iraqis'. It was an Mission Accomplished for OPEC and Big Oil.

Greg Palast

On June 6, Penguin Dutton will release GREG PALAST'S NEW BOOK, "ARMED MADHOUSE DISPATCHES FROM THE FRONT LINES OF THE CLASS WAR." Order it today - and view his investigative reports for Harper's Magazine and BBC television's Newsnight - at www.GregPalast.com

Palast returns to the pages of the Guardian today with this column. Catch his commentaries weekly.