They Should Be Taken Out and Shot

The first thing to realise is that we are not talking about espresso.

Espresso machines are industrial pieces of equipment that cost around £5000 and weigh approximately 90 kilograms.

Designed to pump out hundreds of espresso shots consistently on a daily basis, they emphatically do not belong in a kitchen -- no matter what 'home baristas' on the net might tell you.

Sure, people do make espresso at home -- I call them 'idiots'.

These idiots fall into three main categories: those spending mummy and daddy's money, those that married well, and professional baristas with no life.

But for the rest of us, there are simple and inexpensive ways to ensure a good cup every time.

Ever Bean in Love?

It goes without saying that the quality of the coffee you use is critical.

Espresso coffee is usually made from a blend of beans, but we want to be using a so-called 'single origin' coffee.

For beginners, a good start would be something like a Kenya AA or Brazilian Bourbon.

The more adventurous might want to look at Ethiopian Yirgacheffe -- this can taste of citrus, bergamot, and even peaches but is wildly variable for reasons I won't bore you with here.

If you have a local roastery, buy whole beans (not ground) direct from them and interrogate them about what their best varieties are.

Otherwise you could try a local coffeeshop if they sell beans to the public, but make sure that its single variety and not a blend -- but more importantly, ensure that it's freshly roasted.

Failing all that, buy mail order from someone like Monmouth Coffee or Square Mile.

But do not even think about buying pre-packaged ground coffee -- coffee loses its taste within 20 minutes of grinding.

You'd better off scraping the burnt bits from your morning toast and brewing up with that.

So now we have whole beans, we need some bump and grind.

The Daily Grind

It may seem a trivial point but the quality of your grinder is just as important as the beans.

Badly ground coffee will taste disgusting -- so a good quality grinder is essential to bring out the best from the bean.

If you already have a grinder with a spinning blade then throw it out -- these types generally smash the coffee into large and small chunks.

We need a something that will grind the beans into consistently-sized particles -- a burr grinder is the answer.

Luckily a number of espresso machine manufacturers like Rancilio make burr grinders for home use.

But do be warned -- they are far from cheap.

Failing that, even an old-fashioned hand-cranked grinder that bolts to a table is preferable to the bladed monstrosities.

Filtration for the Nation

You can use a cafétiere (aka French press) to make good coffee at home but there's often sediment in the bottom of the cup.

Serious aficionados also think that the coffee oils get in the way of a clean taste.

There is a long-winded method for making a cleaner cup of French press coffee but it's far too laborious for the likes of you and me.

But by using a filter paper cone, we can ensure a cup free of sediment and coffee oils.

To accomplish this, you will need to invest in a ceramic coffee filter cone and a pack of filter paper cones.

Simply place the ceramic cone over the cup and line it with filter paper.

Add the freshly ground coffee (about 15g per 250ml of water) and fill to the top with water just off the boil.

Let it all drip through -- if it's a large cup then you might need to top it up.

Once it's all gone through, remove the cone and enjoy your well-deserved coffee.

How easy was that?

Cheers!